My Little Aperture Science: Testing is Magic
by awesomesauce4ex
Summary: An Aperture Science research assistant manages to wind up in Equestria. Shenanigans ensue.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – Sucked In**

Josh walked to his office, and logged on to his computer. He was a tall, lanky, freckled scientist, and he worked here at Aperture on the most amazing things: Turrets with infinite bullet capacity, robots that could think and act better than the humans who made them, and most importantly, the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, or as she was more commonly known, GLaDOS. He checked his email, and was surprised to see one pop up from a coworker of his, Henry. He opened it. "Come to the new department immediately, we need you for the test today." Josh raised an eyebrow. Test? Aperture Scientists didn't test, that was what Test Subjects were for. He sighed, and headed over to the new section of Aperture, which would have been a long walk were it not for the labyrinth of elevators that connected the massive place.

He stepped into an office that said "WARNING! Test undergoing, proceed with caution." Some Xen aliens were in cages, and he hurriedly stepped out.

"Whoops! This must be the wrong room, sorry," he said. He was still getting used to this place.

"Don't worry, the one you're looking for is around the corner," said a scientist studying the creatures.

"Thanks," Josh replied. He left, still slightly embarrassed at his mistake. He walked down the hall, turned the corner, and sure enough, there was a sign that said "Dimensional Testing Undergoing – DO NOT DISTURB" on a door. That must be me, he thought. He entered the door, and was surprised to see at least 30 people waiting for him.

Josh grinned sheepishly. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "What are we doing?" he asked.

"Well…" Henry answered. "We just dug up a message box from our old CEO, Cave Johnson."

Josh was flabbergasted. "Cave Johnson? As in THE Cave Johnson?" Everyone nodded.

"And… it's addressed to you," Henry finished. If it was possible, Josh's jaw would have hit the bottom of the complex (approximately 36,000 feet down).

"But… how? I just got here," he said. Henry shrugged, and handed him the box. It said, in faded letters, "To Josh Stevenson, year 2011. Anyone else, DO NOT OPEN. I mean it. –Cave Johnson, CEO". Josh looked up. Several people were impatiently waiting for him to open it. He tried, but it wouldn't budge. They hacked at it with a crowbar, tried to melt it with a Thermal Discouragement Beam, until Josh just gave up in frustration, and yelled at it, "Open!" To his surprise, it actually did open, and he was met with a small sheaf of papers. He picked them up gingerly, as they felt like they could disintegrate at any moment. "Dear Josh," he read aloud,

"This is your CEO, Cave, as you probably know from the label. Anyway, this message is to help you with the one project that I never finished. In the future, there will be a TV show. It will be in color. (Several of the scientists were chuckling.) This show, for whatever reason, is called "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." (Everyone stopped chuckling and started staring.) "What? That's what he says, right there," he pointed to the text. Henry was nodding, like he knew something. "Continue reading," he suggested. "Right, right," Josh replied, and continued.

"A being from this universe made accidental contact with us, and the message traveled back in time. I don't know the details, but the lab boys from our time have included a full page report on how this works. What you are to do is to reestablish contact with this universe, and find out how it managed to contact us, and why. We chose you for this mission because the message in question very specifically included your name, along with the exact time you would read this, which is October 26, 2011 at 9:21 AM." Some of the scientists checked the clock, and this was indeed correct. "Furthermore," Josh continued to read, "We are assuming string theory has been proven at this point. Take that, Black Mesa!" Everyone had a good laugh at that. "So, plans for a dimensional transport are included, so anyone who's hearing this, and is an engineer, that's your job." Two engineers were present, and they shifted uncomfortably at this. "So, one final thing, which is possibly the most important: The message specifies that whoever wants you in this universe, they want you armed. So, get the best handheld technology we have at this point, and get moving. Cave Johnson, we're done here." Josh finished. Everyone looked at eachother. "Well, what are we waiting for?" Henry asked, being the boss of the group. "You heard the dead guy, get moving!" Josh noticed something at the bottom of the paper. "And to Henry: I heard that." He read, and laughed. Henry just stood there, feeling highly uncomfortable. "Oh snap, Henry, you got served by a 'dead guy'," Josh chuckled.

After some weeks of preparation, the dimensional transport was operational. Josh was in a hermetically sealed chamber, armed with the Aperture Science Extradimensional Backpack, which in turn was stocked with a few of just about every testing element Aperture had, and a few guns and grenades just in case. It also had deployable turrets and rocket sentries, as well as camping supplies, a radio that would theoretically work between the two dimensions, and a laptop. "What's the laptop for again?" Josh said as he was digging through the backpack's endless contents. "It's if you get bored," Henry spoke over an intercom.

They were ready to start. Any moment now, the massive gateway portal would open. Josh tensed himself in anticipation. The portal glowed with a bright light, but something was wrong. "Josh! The portal's unstable! Get OUT of there!" Henry yelled over the intercom. A great drop in pressure ensued, and Josh was quickly sucked into the portal, and gone from the universe. The Aperture Science Emergency Shortout System, one second too late, shut down the portal. "We're still here," Henry began.

"And John is not," an old, weary voice finished. It was Doug Rattman, and he had just witnessed the beginning of Josh's adventure. Which in return, could influence their own…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Arrival, and subsequent Nuclear Explosions**

Josh appeared 50 feet above the ground, and quickly prepared himself for landing. Luckily, he had his Long Fall Boots on, and he landed with a soft 'thump'. Well, that was easy, he thought. He pulled out the Aperture Science Handheld Dual Portal Device, in case he ran into something. Unfortunately, the same monitor that Henry had spoken to him through moments earlier appeared above him, and whacked him on the head. What the… Josh thought as he sank into unconsciousness. His backpack, sensing a drastic slowdown in its user's vital functions, began beeping hurriedly in an attempt to attract passersby. However, they were in the middle of the forest, and the backpack was about to give up in annoyance when it heard a step. It began beeping louder than ever, and was greeted with the strangest sight…

Fluttershy didn't normally go into the Everfree Forest, but she had a baby snake that missed its mother, and she had agreed to drop it off. So now she was heading back from the forest, when she heard beeping below her. "Beeping? I don't know any animal that beeps," Fluttershy wondered aloud. She went to investigate, and was greeted with the strangest sight she had ever seen. An animal that she had never seen was lying facedown on the ground, and it's… backpack was beeping? She decided to help it, as the creature didn't look to be in very good shape. Fluttershy desperately tried to move the huge thing, but she wasn't nearly strong enough. She turned around, lifted her wings and sped off for help.

Rainbow Dash was chillaxing at her house when Fluttershy burst in, faster than Rainbow had ever seen Fluttershy fly before. "Rainbow! There's a big creature in the forest, and it needs our help! That is, if you'd like to," she finished. Rainbow grinned and nodded. "Let's do this," she said, rushing out the front door. "But I didn't tell you where…" Fluttershy began, and stopped. She flew out of the door to catch up to Rainbow. "I wonder if Twilight will be interested in this," Fluttershy thought aloud.

Twilight, at the moment, was reading. It was an index of mythical creatures, and she liked to read about these and imagine what it would be like if they were real. "Homing pidgeon… human… human?" She read aloud. She hadn't heard of this one. "Humans are tall creatures with their defining feature being that they walk on only two legs," she read aloud. "They are highly intelligent and creative, but have no magical powers. Huh," she finished. "Weird." Spike ran in, and began speaking quickly. "Twilight Fluttershy wants you to go to the Everfree Forest there's a weird two-legged creature there and she can't move it!" he huffed. Twilight was shocked. Two-legged? Could this be the legendary 'human' she had just read about? She used a teleporting spell, and was immediately whisked away…

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, both grunting with exertion, were trying to drag the creature, without much luck. Twilight appeared in a flash, and neatly lifted it up with levitation. "Well, that takes a load off our shoulders," laughed Rainbow Dash, stretching. "I'll take it back to your cottage, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "Oh, thanks," Fluttershy beamed. "I wonder what this thing is, though?" Twilight got a good look at its face. It seemed very calm, and it was wearing clothes. The clothes were very well made, so this human must have known a good seamstress, Twilight decided. A black and white, very sleek tube-shaped thing with three claws on it was clutched tightly in his hand, and Twilight used her magic to pry it loose. "I wonder what this thing does," Twilight thought aloud. "Maybe Princess Celestia will know? I'll have to file a letter to her as soon as possible."

Josh felt relaxed. He was lying in a bed, and he could hear faint voices outside. His hand felt light and empty for some reason… Was he holding something? "The Portal Device!" Josh yelled in his mind, jolting himself awake. He quickly took in his surroundings. He was in a small, cozy yellow room, laying on a bed that was much too small for him. He didn't see the Portal Gun anywhere, but his backpack was on a table next to him. He grabbed it and quickly searched its contents. "Oh man, oh man, this is bad," he thought. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, and was about to leave when a bold voice said "Where do you think you're going, mister?" Josh looked everywhere for the source of the voice, and finally found it: A cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. Josh attempted to answer, but for some reason he couldn't. He smiled apologetically at the thing, and quickly ran out the door. Where was he, anyway? He had a homing beacon to the Portal Gun, and strapped on his Long Fall Boots when he was out of sight of the front door. Then he took out two small canisters with an orange liquid sloshing about inside. These were a new add-on to the Long Fall Boots, and would allow him to run as if on Propulsion Gel. He sped off, expecting to see a blur. To his surprise, he found the pony from earlier keeping up with him by flying. He increased his speed. So did the pony. They zipped towards Ponyville…

Rainbow, meanwhile, was easily keeping up with the human. She looked in his eyes, and saw a fearful mix of confusion, determination, and fear. She flew faster, and far outpaced the human. Rainbow arrived in Ponyville, and gathered other ponies around her. "A creature is coming down the road really fast, but it's injured and needs treatment. Can we set up a roadblock?" Everypony nodded, and quickly got to work.

However, Josh was not moving at all. He had anticipated that he would need to be getting past these 'ponies', so he had strapped on the other two Gel canisters: Repulsion and the latest, Sticky Gel, a purple gel which allowed him to walk on walls and ceilings. He had just finished attaching the wireless buttons that controlled the flow of each to his fingers, and sped off again.

The roadblock was almost finished by the time the creature – a 'human', according to Twilight Sparkle, arrived on the scene. "Here he comes!" Rainbow yelled, and most of the ponies ran inside their homes, fearful to see this new creature. Josh saw the concrete roadblock up ahead, and grimly smiled. That was what they came up with? They didn't know who they were dealing with. He pressed the blue button on his index finger, and immediately slowed down. Seconds before hitting the wall, he jumped straight over, which left Rainbow and everypony else jaw-dropping. He pressed the orange button on his thumb and continued his desperate journey to the Portal Gun. He knew that if he didn't, a nuclear explosion would result due to the gun recognizing that it had been taken away from its owner. He saw the cyan pony speeding up behind him, and had to admire it's persistence.

Rarity, meanwhile, was sewing when she heard the sound equivalent to a jet plane going by. She went outside, expecting to see Rainbow Dash, but instead was hit by a tall, white labcoat wearing… thing. "That coat is definitely not in season," she remarked, then screamed. Josh looked down, and noticed he had accidentally picked up a white pony, and turned off the boots. He gently set her down, an apologetic look on his face. Then he pressed a button on his thumb, and sped off again, leaving Rarity to wonder what in Equestria just happened. She watched the thing escape, leaving her alone and several miles from her home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Valuable Asset Retrieval**

Josh continued traveling toward where he presumed the endangering Portal Device to be. He noticed a mountain ahead of him, and frowned. Mountains were cold, right? It had been so long since he had been outside, he couldn't tell. In fact, Josh hadn't seen the sun for about 5 years, so the younger, yellower Equestrian sun beat down harshly on him. He looked behind him, and saw in the distance the cyan pegasus from earlier. Man, that thing never gives up, does it? He thought. Also, why couldn't he talk? He tried to speak, but nothing came out. I am a mute, he thought. Wonderful…

A little earlier, Rainbow had just spotted the white-coated thing rushing off in the distance. She had been lazily chasing it before, but now it was time to get serious. She was about to zoom past him when Rainbow saw Rarity, lying on the ground below. She zoomed down, and met with the white unicorn. "What did that thing do to you?" Rainbow immediately asked. "It ran into me, that's what it did! Oh, I look TERRIBLE," Rarity complained. Rainbow grudgingly turned around and flew Rarity back to her house. Looks like someone else would have to get whatever that was, she noticed.

Josh, noticing no one was chasing him, took out a pen and paper and began writing as he ran.

Twilight was intrigued and worried. On one hand, she was researching a 'human,' but on the other, this thing was heading straight towards Canterlot, and nopony had been able to stop it so far. Also, it seemed to have an endless supply of weapons in that pack it had, so nopony was sure how dangerous it was. She sincerely hoped Princess Celestia knew what she was doing with that black-and-white clawed tube, which Twilight had sent to her in hopes that the Canterlot scientists could figure out what in Equestria the thing was. A thought struck Twilight: The thing could just want the tube back! She teleported to Canterlot to warn the Princess.

Meanwhile, Celestia, Luna and a team of scientists were examining the Portal Gun, when a member of the Royal Guard burst in. "Your Highness, a creature is approaching the main gates of Canterlot, and it appears to be armed. It's bipedal, and came here from the Everfree Forest. What are your orders?" Celestia glanced over at him. "Stop it, and detain it. We're in the middle of something important to Equestria's future here."

The device gave off a small spark, and everyone jumped. "Hey, there's a switch here," Luna mentioned. She picked the device up with her magic, and flicked the switch. Luckily, she was facing a concrete wall, and a blue portal was created. "Wha-what is that?!" Luna gasped, surprised. "Try using it again, maybe something different will happen," advised a scientist. Luna complied, and an orange portal was shot, opening the link. The two holes in space stood next to eachother, swirling. Luna gulped, afraid. "This technology is like nothing I have ever seen," Celestia said. "This could help all Equestria!" A scientist motioned to take the device from Luna. Just then, Twilight Sparkle teleported into the room.

"Your highness!" She said, and immediately bowed. "Yes, my faithful student? What is it?" asked Celestia, clearly concerned. "I think that human just wants that thing the scientist has back!" Celestia was torn now. This device could revolutionize the world, but stealing was wrong. Suddenly, as if there weren't enough people in a room designed for only 5 or 6 ponies, Josh crashed in through the window. Everypony was stunned. They had heard some reports of how big the thing was, but now that it was towering over them, they were spellbound by it's height. It neatly took the tube from the scientist, and left a piece of paper in Celestia's hooves. Celestia read the paper.

"The Enrichment Center thanks you for helping avert a nuclear meltdown. Please refrain from stealing any Enrichment Center technology, as this can and will result in some sort of explosion. Also, you seemed like the most important person in the room, so I gave this to you." Celestia finished speed-reading the paper, and was more perplexed than ever. She was even more shocked, however, when the human jumped out of the window he had just crashed through. She, Luna and Twilight ran over to watch, almost expecting to see a splattered mess on the ground below, but it was not to be. The human twisted around as he was falling, and shot the blue thing from earlier on the castle wall, directly below the mountain. He then shot an orange one on the floor, and fell into it. The creature immediately reappeared below the three ponies out of the blue hole, and was launched away into the sky, in the direction of Everfree Forest.

"What just happened?" Twilight spoke up. Luna was still staring out the window, in the direction the creature had went. "That thing almost seemed… sentient," she spoke up. "It wrote a note to me, in Equine," Celestia replied, showing the others the elegantly written note. They read over the note, and were confused. "What's a nuclear meltdown?" Twilight asked. A scientist fidgeted uncomfortably. "It's when a device that runs on nuclear or radiation energy becomes so heated that it melts itself down, which can sometimes cause a radiation-infested explosion. Judging from the amount of radiation some of our monitors picked up from the device itself, such an explosion could destroy most of Equestria. Everypony was jaw-dropping from this. "You mean that we put that thing through a roadblock, a mountain and all of the Royal Guard… and it was trying to save us?" Twilight asked. "Speaking of which, where is the Royal Guard? I thought they were fending off that 'human'?" Luna wondered.

As the three shocked ponies walked through the palace, more and more guards were found in various postions, completely knocked out. Twilight nudged one, and he moaned. "That one thing managed to incapacitate every single guard… impressive…" Celestia noted. Just then, Luna found another note on the door of the castle, and brought it over to the others. "If you want to talk, I can be found in the Everfree Forest… not listening. So don't bother, signed Josh," Twilight read. "Wow, this thing's upset. Maybe we should apologize?" she remarked. Celestia and Luna agreed. "Gather your friends and find it, please. Equestria needs that technology." Twilight nodded, and teleported again, which was getting tiring.

Josh had set up a tent in the middle of the forest. After making sure there were no more ponies randomly stealing his equipment, he took out the laptop. Fortunately, the laptop somehow still worked. A folder marked " " was listed on the Desktop, and feeling bored, Josh double-clicked it, expecting to be met with design blueprints on a small Aperture Science facility. Instead, the laptop began to expand, and enveloped Josh. Once the smoke had cleared, Josh was standing in a small building, with rooms, beds and a kitchen. He ran outside, and looked up. Sure enough, the building said "Aperture Science Enrichment Center" in huge letters on the outside. So much for hiding, he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Apology Accepted**

When Josh was finished staring, he heard voices. One of them was the voice of that blue pegasus from earlier. Josh didn't really care that he was, in fact, dealing with pegasi, unicorns and a strange hybrid of both. He'd seen far stranger in the labs of Aperture, after all. He opened a few panels at the touch of a button, and slipped through the new facility. Along the way, he noticed a few things…

Twilight was uneasy. Number one, she was in the Everfree Forest, although she was with all of her friends. Number Two, a potential threat –turned- lifesaver was most certainly not happy with them, and who knows what it would do as revenge. It could see them as threats in turn, after all. Applejack suddenly looked up and gasped. "Look at that thing!" she said. Twilight looked up, and was startled to see a brand-new building… in the middle of the forest. "Aperture Science" was on the front in large letters, followed by "Enrichment Center" in smaller ones below it. "Hey, I recognize that sign!" Rainbow Dash spoke up. "From where?" Pinkie asked. "The human was wearing it on it's clothes," Rainbow answered. "And I saw it on his boots," Rarity remembered. "And it was on the tube thing," Twilight recalled. "Well then, this must be it," Spike said. "So… who wants to go… i-in?"

Twilight attempted to open the door with her horn, but it wouldn't budge. Applejack kicked it, Rarity complained to it, Rainbow even flew into it at full force. Finally, Fluttershy walked up to the door and said "Um… could you open, please?" To everypony's surprise, the door actually heeded her, leading them inside to a lobby of sorts. "Welcome to the Enrichment Center!" was written on a digital banner above the main desk. "It's so… modern…" Twilight gasped. Everything was pristine, new and hi-tech, from the doors to the desk itself, which offered a full catalog of Aperture's current products on its surface. Fluttershy was staring at the camera on the wall, whose red eye wouldn't stop following her wherever she went. "Hey, look at this!" Pinkie said, motioning for them to look underneath the desk. "Current employees – 1 Male" Twilight read. "That must be the human we saw earlier, he works here!" Pinkie exclaimed. "And this door says 'Employee Rooms,' Rainbow pointed out, walking up to a door. Twilight thought for about half a second. "So, logic dictates that we go this way," she said, opening the door.

Josh hung out in a room marked with his name. This Enrichment Center was much smaller and cozier than the other one, and the only other room that looked like it had been occupied was a scientist by the name of Doug Rattman, known as 'The Ratman' to most of his coworkers. Josh had never met the guy, but apparently he was the former occupant of this place. There was a small drawing of a black arrow with what appeared to be confetti pointing at the closet below it, but Josh had only just noticed it. He opened the closet, and was absolutely stunned.

It was a suit, but a body at the same time: An amalgamation designed to look just like GLaDOS herself, except much smaller. Josh hesitated, but then thought 'what the heck, this looks like fun' and climbed in. He put on the helmet, and was immediately left with a screen that took up his entire eyesight. It contained a simple command prompt. "Activate LaECOS (Lifeform and Enrichment Center Operating System)? Y/N". Josh chose "Y" and was met with hundreds of images on the screen simultaneously. He knew he was viewing hundreds of things at the same time, but somehow, if he tried, just by thinking he could view whatever he wanted. He had cameras all over this place, and could see every nook and cranny. He had so much power… No, Josh wouldn't go crazy quite yet. He noticed a screen that said "7 Lifeforms Detected" and chose to view the lifeforms. They were those same ponies he had encountered earlier, plus a few new ones, which Josh assumed must be some more of their friends. He decided to welcome them, and thought about moving his room to in front of where they currently were, and the entire room complied. This is amazing! He thought, spinning a Companion Cube on a panel. To go from being a simple scientist, to having your very own Enrichment Center! Now, just what am I going to do with this whole thing? Josh thought for a while. No more testing, he decided. Testing was boring, and he was pretty sure their products worked perfectly. Er… selling? Too risky, with the current market, he noted. He had no idea what the currency was, after all. And absolutely NO NEUROTOXIN, he nearly shouted in his head. One GLaDOS in one universe was bad enough. He set the thoughts aside for later, and instead concentrated on his current problem. Those ponies…

Spike heard rumbling. "Anyone hungry?" he asked. A loud chorus of no's came from the group. Twilight opened the door, to find a wall. That was moving. The wall suddenly disappeared, and she was met with a huge open space. "Wha-!" she gasped, with the other ponies and Spike staring as well. A room, a huge one, was moving towards their door at shocking speed, and finally hit it, making a small tremor. The room slid along the wall until another door lined up with theirs, and Twilight opened that. She was met with what appeared to be the human from earlier in a huge robotic suit, with screens all around. The screens displayed words, and the current ones were _Oh, hi. So, how are you holding up, after your averted nuclear meltdown? No, no need to thank me, I only saved everything within a forty-thousand mile radius._

"Do you ever talk?" Twilight asked it. _I'm mute,_ the screen answered. _I used to be able to talk just fine, but since I ended up here, I couldn't say a word, which is also why I couldn't tell you why I was running past a roadblock, up a mountain, and through about twenty guards._ Most of the ponies, Rainbow especially, fidgeted. "Could I help?" Twilight tentatively offered. _Help?_ the screens asked. _What could you do? _The robot's eye seemed to fixate on them, and this was too much for Fluttershy to bear. With a small gasp, she fainted. Applejack immediately tended to her, while Rainbow glared at the thing. Twilight glared at Rainbow. Pinkie glared at herself through a reflection. Twilight eventually got Rainbow to back down, and she lifted her horn, which started glowing. _What are you… _doing?" A male voice spoke, and Twilight was surprised at how clear and calm it – he – sounded. "I.. I can talk! Haha! How did you do that?" It asked. "First, what's your name?" Twilight asked. "Well, my normal name is Josh…

But in this form you can call me LaECOS!"

**A/N: So, this was interesting, don't you think?**

Pinkie: Hey, leave a review!

**What the – Pinkie, what are you doing here?!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Surprises and Demonstrations**

Celestia was worried, to say the least. The technology the six had claimed was everywhere in the "Enrichment Center" (enrichment of what, she still didn't know) was totally alien to Equestria. How was she supposed to explain this to the everyday ponies? More importantly, what was to stop this new human from taking over the entire planet? She would have to visit the building firsthand to find out. Celestia called up two of her most loyal guards, who never asked any questions. She wrote a note to Luna, and set off for the Everfree Forest.

Celestia asked the guards to make a quick stop at Ponyville. She needed to confirm some of the things she had heard. As soon as she landed, Twilight Sparkle came running up with a smile on her face. "Princess Celestia! What brings you here?" Celestia smiled in return. "I came to make sure what you were telling me about this human is right. Do you think he would mind if I came to visit his 'Enrichment Center'?" Twilight thought for a bit, and shook her head. "Not at all! He also said that he was happy to take visitors," Twilight answered. Whatever this human is, it's in no hurry to hide whatever it's doing, Celestia noted in her head. "Well then, I'll be off," she replied, and got back on her chariot. Twilight watched her go, content that no harm would come to her.

As they arrived at the Everfree Forest, Celestia encountered a problem. How was she to find this Enrichment Center? It couldn't be very big. She gasped as she saw what was once a clearing taken up by a massive building. She nodded to the guards, and they swooped down and dropped her off at its entrance. "Wait here," she commanded, then opened the door. The lobby was the same as ever, except all the sticky notes were removed. The board behind the desk said "Welcome!" Celestia cocked her head. The words were… moving. They were very slightly vibrating, and she looked closer. What she thought was some sort of framed message board was, in fact, a digital screen. She was already seeing new technology, and she was only in the lobby. "So where do I go?" she questioned. To her surprise, a voice answered, causing her to jump. "Well, what do you want to see?" Celestia looked around, trying to identify the source of the voice. "Up here," it spoke again.

Celestia looked up to see the Aperture camera with a red eye staring at her. "Are you the thi- er, human- that some of us spoke to?" The response was a chuckle. "Yes and no," it replied. "If you're asking whether the thing with the red eye is me, then no. That's a camera. It lets me watch whatever's going on in this room, even though I'm not currently in the room." Celestia nodded. "Now, what else would you like to see?" Celestia thought. There was, after all, quite a lot to choose from. "I'd like to see… you!" she decided. "Alrighty then," LaECOS said in a distinctly Texan accent. "By the way, my name in this form is-" "LaECOS," Celestia interrupted. "The other ones told me." There was a pause on the other end, but LaECOS resumed his cheerful demeanor a moment later. "But of course," he replied. "In that case, stay right there…" Celestia was worried. What was he about to do? A millisecond later, she got her answer. A small earthquake shook the room, and Celestia immediately leaned against a wall to steady herself. "Sorry about that," LaECOS spoke. "That happens whenever I move rooms together. Enter the door on your left." Celestia did as he asked, and was surprised to find a huge robotic body, with a head at the bottom and one yellow eye staring at her. Celestia was speechless at this point.

"So, this is me," LaECOS spoke – actually spoke, not over camera- to Celestia. "Big, aren't I? Anyway, this is where the science happens. I can do just about anything from here." Celestia grinned. "Can you make me some lemonade?" LaECOS seemed to get mad at this, and Celestia frowned. "I'm sorry, was that a bad thing to say?" LaECOS snapped back into reality. "Oh, no, sorry, just remembering something," he distractedly replied, and set about making the lemonade. "Let's see, you probably want natural lemons… We'll need electrolyte-saturated water… Sugar?" he asked. "Sure," Celestia replied. The lemonade was prepared in less than a picosecond, and a robotic arm handed her the lemonade, which Celestia sipped. And it was the best lemonade she ever tasted. LaECOS calmly watched, all traces of his earlier dark demeanor gone. She finished, and handed the glass back to the arm, which was still waiting. It disappeared through a hole in the floor, which was quickly closed by a panel. "How does this whole place work?" she asked. "Er… trade secret?" LaECOS uncomfortably said. "Okay… Er… what language are you speaking?" she replied. "Easy, English," he answered. Celestia was interested. "And this English is the exact same as our Equine language?" she countered. LaECOS thought for a bit, then decided. "Apparently," he said. "One last thing… how does that tube work?" Princess Celestia asked, this time really interested. "Ah! This is one I can explain in your terms," he cheerfully answered. The ASHPD, the same one from Josh's backpack, was brought out, and a diagram was put on the screen.

"This device works on two principles: Air pressure, which is simple, and the fifth dimension, which is complex. I'll try to explain in terms you can understand, with appropriate diagrams. Here we go…" A single dot was on the screen. "This is the zero-th dimension. Nothing moves, because it is all contained in a single point." The dot expanded into a line. "The first dimension, in which everything moves in only one direction across one plane," LaECOS said. The line divided into four, and the four lines made a square. "The second, where everything can now move in four directions, according to the x- and y- axis. Now, what if someone, let's say Mr. Triangle here," he said, placing a green triangle on the square, "were to gain use of the third dimension, e.g. moving up? He would be effectively teleporting through his second dimension, as no one would be able to tell where he went whenever he went up. They couldn't exactly point to it. Anyway, all life-forms reside in four dimensions. The fourth dimension can be represented in mathematical space, but it's rather confusing. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device, however," he continued, "makes use of the fifth dimension by making a wormhole, or a hole through time and space."

"This wormhole has no three-dimensional space between it, so anything that goes into one of the portals, being either end of the wormhole, comes out the other instantaneously." Celestia nodded, still speechless. "For the device to make a portal, it stores a gamma-leaking superheavy element within its casing, which is dense enough to rip the fabric of space-time. Then, a huge fan creates pressure inside the device. The element, having no other way to go, rockets out of the front of the barrel. Along the way, a few additional things happen: A certain wavelength of light is added and trapped within the element's particles, as to make the color of the portal itself. We only use the visible spectrum of colors because anything else produces some rather… strange side-effects." Celestia shivered.

"Finally, the mix comes out of the barrel, and enters the atmosphere. The three claws on the sides and top center the shot so it lands exactly where you fired it upon. Speaking of surfaces, certain surfaces do not accept portals. These are metal and liquids. Metal is already dense, and adding about 150 protons to it goes beyond the amount of protons any atom can accept, so the portal cannot be created. Surfaces that do accept portals must be fairly light, made of low-proton elements, or anything below the element chromium. Liquids cannot conduct portals, because the portal shot is heavy enough to simply move the liquid out of the way," LaECOS concluded. Celestia stored the information in her head. "You're planning to make your own version of this," LaECOS stated. Celestia jumped. "How did you know?" LaECOS glared at her. "Firstly, in this or any other universe, portals are copyrighted. That's one thing we have that Black Mesa doesn't," he muttered. "Second, to create superheavy elements you first need a Large Hadron Collider. I doubt you have such a thing, and radioactive elements are extremely dangerous to handle. So, for your own safety, I would suggest you just buy some Portal Devices from Aperture when I release them to the market. Ah, that reminded me, I have some questions to ask you," LaECOS began. Celestia nodded, after all, it was only fair. "First, what is the price of pure gold?" Celestia thought for a moment. "We use pure gold for our coins, so not much," she answered. LaECOS looked confused, which was hard to do with one eye. "You have that much gold?" Celestia nodded. "I see… in that case, what is the most expensive metal?" Celestia had to think for that one too. "It should be rhenium, at about two thousand bits" she decided. "Funny… we have an element with that name," LaECOS thought out loud. "Do you think it could be the same one?" Celestia asked. "I'm fairly certain it is…" LaECOS mumbled. He didn't want to tell the ruler of this land that it was supposedly 'made up', after all. That would devastate anyone. Celestia nodded, smiled, and thanked him for his time, walking out the door.

The guards saw Celestia come out, visibly shaken from her experience. One of them looked at her, concerned, and she waved a hoof, returning to her normal, calm self. "Off we go," she said, and the chariot immediately left.

**A/N: So sorry for the monologues. Anyone who can explain fifth-dimensional space in an easier way, feel free to do so. Speaking of which, don't I sound convincing?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - The Dark Side of the Facility**

Along the way back, Celestia had a quick meeting with Twilight and her friends. "If you see any new technology from Aperture, make sure to make a note of it," she said to them. Each one agreed.

Josh was just waking up when he heard a knock on his door. He quickly threw some shorts and a shirt on, and opened the door. Fluttershy was there, looking up at him. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Josh, can you help me?" Josh smiled. "Sure, what do you need?" Fluttershy looked away for a second. "It's this big rock, a baby deer got it's leg stuck in there somehow. Do you have anything that can move that?" Josh thought for a bit, rummaging through his backpack. "Ah, here we are," he said, pulling out the Gravity Gun. "This'll definitely do the job. Where's the rock?" Fluttershy flew off, and led him to it.

It was a massive chunk of cliff, and the baby deer was nearly crying as it tried to escape. Josh circled the rock until he found the right angle, and activated the gun. It picked the entire thing up, and held it in the air, much to Fluttershy's surprise. "How does it do that?" Josh smiled. "Zero-point-energy. Where do you want this?" Fluttershy pointed to a nearby lake. "Just be careful not to hit anything," she advised. Josh nodded, and took careful aim at a small, untouched island a few feet across, and launched the boulder. It landed right on target, and was stuck. "Done!" Josh exclaimed. His aim was better than he thought. He looked over at Fluttershy, who was shyly smiling. "Hey, is there anything to do for fun where you live?" Fluttershy perked up at this. "Oh, there's lots! You can visit the library, the shops, or Cloudsdale, which is nearby, that is if you want to," she finished. Josh nodded, and headed back to the Enrichment Center to eat and get ready. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to stop by," he told Fluttershy as he left.

Josh walked into Ponyville, this time calmly. For old times' sake, he had brought along the Gel Boots, his Portal Gun, and his labcoat. Every pony there was constantly staring at him, and some of the littler ones ran up and poked him (probably as a dare, Josh thought). He headed towards the library, and rang the doorbell. He didn't know that Twilight wasn't there, and had in fact teleported to his place just a moment before. Spike answered the door, and was startled by how big the caller was. "WHOA – er, hello," he said. "Hi, I'm looking for… Well, I don't know her name, but she seemed to work here." Spike laughed. "You mean Twilight? She just teleported to your place a minute ago." Josh paled, and activated two small switches on either side of his boots. "Gotta go!" Josh yelled as he raced down the street at speeds upwards of the sound barrier, making a sonic boom as he went. Spike took out a small clipboard. "Can go as fast as Rainbow Dash through means of boots," he wrote, and sent to Celestia.

Twilight had just opened the door when she felt an emptiness in the air. The screen in the lobby was off, and a note was left on the desk. "Not here right now, please come back a bit later – Josh" was written in sloppy handwriting. Twilight sighed. She had been so excited to see new science! She stubbornly set off in the direction of Manufacturing, hoping she could find Josh somewhere. Twilight kept walking until she saw a sign that said "Turret Manufacturing – CAUTION".

According to her dictionary, a turret was a small tower on top of a castle, so she didn't see why there would be much caution. However, she was not met with buildings, but with watching a spectacle of a small white egg-shaped thing with three legs. It had a red eye with a beam coming out of it, and was traveling along a rail quickly. Twilight ran to catch up, and was soon met with a room that shocked her. The turret moved to a point where a wall with what appeared to be a human doll, life-size, was propped. It had several large holes in it. _Target acquired, _the turret spoke in a childish voice. The turret opened two compartments on either side of it, and out of these small projectiles sprayed. A green checkmark was displayed, and the turret moved on.

What came out next was rather different than the one she had seen before. It had no white shell, a yellow eye and a funny male voice. _Yeah, take that! _It said, attempting to copy the other thing. However, nothing happened but a small *click* coming out repeatedly every time it tried to fire, resulting in a red x being displayed. The defective turret was promptly tossed into an incinerator. She noticed a digital sign turning on behind her, and looked. "Current Sentry Turret Statistics: Bullet Capacity nearing infinite, intelligence has surpassed that of the average 12-year-old, efficiency has succeeded all expectations. The turrets can now kill a living being in a matter of a few seconds." Twilight was horrified. These things could kill efficiently, she realized. So efficiently, that they could effectively take over the world if ever they were deployed. Just then, a camera turned to stare directly at her.

Josh ran to the Center, and immediately into his chamber. He plugged himself in to LaECOS, and attempted to find Twilight. She was, of course, in the worst possible place: the turret manufacturing. Hoo boy, explaining. Fun. He thought, as he turned the camera to stare at her. "Oh, hello, miss…?" he politely asked. He had no idea what her name was, and had seen her only briefly in the library window, checking out a book to another pony. "Twilight Sparkle," Twilight growled. LaECOS was taken aback, this was not the cheerful demeanor most ponies displayed. "Is something wrong?" he asked, acting innocent. "You know very well what's wrong! What are deadly killing machines doing here?!" Twilight shouted, in tears. LaECOS didn't know what to say, as he didn't know of Equestrian morals. "They're Aperture Science Sentry Turrets. They were planned to be used in warfare once they had reached infinite bullet capacity and the required intelligence." Twilight was disgusted. "The last war in Equestria was when Princess Celestia and Princess Luna defeated Discord, over a thousand years ago," Twilight explained. "We've had no international conflict since then." LaECOS was truly surprised. "That's… interesting," he finally said. "However, due to the Laws of Robotics, I can't just destroy all of them. What am I supposed to do with the thousand turrets or so that I've currently got in stock?" Twilight thought, as this was an important question. "Could you make them non-dangerous, like take out their guns or something?" Twilight asked. LaECOS and all of the turrets stared at her in shocked silence. "Would you enjoy ripping someone's arms off?" LaECOS finally responded. Twilight stared up at him in revulsion. "Wha-no! What does that have to do with it?!" Turrets were now glaring at her, even as LaECOS kept the order not to shoot. "The emotional trauma and pain they would have to go through would be the same," he answered. Twilight understood, and didn't like it. "Is there another way to make them less dangerous?" she asked. "Well… I could reprogram them to not shoot anyone unless there is absolutely no other way to solve the problem," LaECOS speculated. "Yeah, do that!" a turret piped up. "We're fine with that, just don't take away our guns," another said. Twilight was looking around in amazement. These things could answer and make decisions? Were they alive? It didn't look like it, because they were manufactured, not born. Twilight was now thoroughly confused.

**A/N: And now, things get a little less friendly. Fun, isn't it?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – Accidental Testing**

LaECOS was relaxing when he heard giggling. Opening his eyes, he saw three very small ponies staring at him, now openly laughing. "Okay, what's so funny?" he asked, then deployed a mirror from the ceiling. His helmet was covered in squiggles. "Oh, that's just not cool," he muttered. "Betcha can't catch us!" Applebloom yelled, then ran off, with the other two members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders close behind. "Where are they going… oh HECK NO," he said, and quickly utilized Emergency Area Shutdown Protocols. He also patched in to the intercom. "Why does every little pony have to invade this place when I'm not in charge!? You three are not supposed to be in there. That area isn't safe for you. OH NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING AAGH!" he yelled as they entered the one place he feared for them the most:

The Test Chambers.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE MAKES GUNS?!" Celestia shouted at her faithful student. Twilight cringed; she had never seen the princess this angry before. "Well, they're little white egg-shaped things that shoot ponies really fast." Celestia was horrified. The same human who made the most wondrous things made these monsters? "Guards, get me a chariot," she called. Another visit was due…

Luna had decided to visit the Enrichment Center all on her own. She saw no one in the lobby, and LaECOS wasn't speaking. The digital board had a map of the facility, with lifeforms listed as red dots. Luna was confused: There were already three other ponies here, and LaECOS was in his chamber. So why wasn't he talking? She noted the direction to LaECOS's Main AI chamber and set off, marveling at all the technology that popped up everywhere.

Celestia, meanwhile, was just outside the door when Luna's guards were spotted. "Is Princess Luna in there?" she asked, looking desperate. They nodded. Celestia ran in, and saw Luna walking down a hallway and turning the corner. "Luna!" she yelled as she galloped to catch up. And why wasn't the human saying anything? Was he hiding?

The three CMC's entered Chamber 01, where the rotating portals were featured. The intercom came on, but LaECOS's voice was different, and strangely monotone. "Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. Due to mandatory testing cycles, we can no longer communicate with you directly, and we apologize for the inconvenience. During testing, you may be exposed to hazards such as deadly lasers, acid, high-energy gamma-leaking portal technology, fire, radiation poisoning, vaporization, asbestos poisoning, psychological damage, emancipation of select body parts, falling, and formerly shooting. The Enrichment Center respects your right to have concerns about these policies, and in fact would not have started testing at all had you not entered this chamber. Please do your best to make it out alive."

Both Celestia and Luna were hearing this, as LaECOS had not yet found out how to only broadcast to individual chambers. At this time, Celestia had caught up to Luna, and both of them looked at eachother. Then they raced off to LaECOS to confront him.

Meanwhile, LaECOS himself was desperately frightened. If he couldn't pull these ponies out of testing, he'd have murder charges on his hands. For what appeared to be innocent children. Just then, both princesses burst into his chamber, to see one very frustrated LaECOS. On all of his screens was "Testing Cancellation Protocol," and "Denied" was popping up on the screen every few seconds. "That one… no… RRGH! What is the password?!" LaECOS yelled, startling them both. Then he went still as another message came out in the monotonous voice. "Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These interdimensional gates have proven to be completely safe." Celestia and Luna relaxed a bit. "The device, however, has not." They tensed again. "Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most important, do not attempt to remove the device from the testing area without prior authorization." Celestia noticed a keyboard with the same screen as LaECOS was displaying, and she used magic to type on it. "Err…. CaveJohnson? No…. 3tier? No! This must have some password that nobody knows… rrgh!" LaECOS raged. Celestia was trying passwords as well, but she had no idea what she was doing.

In the meantime, the three-pony team was charging through the tests at an incredibly fast rate, and were already at Test Chamber 16. Luckily for them, this was the actual Test Chamber 16, involving complex combinations of buttons and cubes. No turrets were present anywhere. They easily solved it, and LaECOS was impressed at their cognitive abilities. These ponies were excellent problem-solvers, and didn't seem to mind the dangers. Then again, he was desperately trying to get them out of there. He didn't want them to even get to Test Chamber 17, let alone up to 19. Finally, a screen came up that said "Password Accepted." LaECOS stared. He hadn't entered a password in that time. A panel opened up in the wall adjacent to the three, and they exited the testing labs. They were shortly brought to the main chamber. "Now…" LaECOS said. "What did you enter? There's no way someone who's never used a computer could be so experienced as to find the password in that time." Celestia glared at him. "I entered 'pony', she said. LaECOS was fairly stunned. That was it? This whole time, the password was 'pony'? He zoomed back in to reality to see Luna looking scared, but still curious, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders happily exhausted in a corner, and Celestia looking furious.

"I just looked through the memories of those three, and what I saw infuriated me. How could you expose anyone to those conditions? HOW COULD YOU?!" LaECOS gave no reaction, which was odd. "Answer me!" Celestia said, stomping a hoof. LaECOS suddenly swiveled until his helmet was a few feet away from her face, and she jumped. "Do you really want to know what we do for science, here in Aperture?" he whispered. Celestia carefully nodded, she had a feeling she was on thin ice here. "I was a Test Subject once," LaECOS slowly said, and what appeared to be his own memories of his testing were playing on the screen. "I had to go through much worse. I had bullets through half of my brain, and yet I grabbed the medicine and repaired myself to continue." Celestia was shocked. "But why didn't you just give up? Death sounds better than this," she replied. "Because," LaECOS began. "I had nothing else to live for."

**A/N: Next chapter, we hear of Josh's own past! And… stuff! Yeah, stuff. Anyway, review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – The Worst Person in Equestria**

"Do you know what it means to die?" LaECOS asked. "I do. I've died more times than anyone in my family, and every time I came back in a Vita-Chamber, I just walked into the testing room, and touched my own blood." Celestia was revolted, and curious. "You can turn back death?" She asked. "We can repair and destroy anything," LaECOS replied sadly. "In a way, I could be a god… But I see that position is taken for keeps."

"There is no justice in my world. You take what you want, and make the best of it. And sometimes, the best is never enough. I craved more, I craved to make myself known, I craved… true life. It never came. I was never truly happy until I stepped into Aperture, and had a party thrown in my honor." For some reason, Pinkie Pie surfaced in Celestia's mind. "It wasn't my birthday, but they had thrown out all the stops, just for me. That was the happiest day of my life…" LaECOS sighed, remembering. "I even got my first Portal Gun, and was asked if I wanted to do any testing. No scientist before me had ever said yes, but I did. These people treated me like I was family, which is more than I can say for my actual family. All they ever did was hate me, for thinking different. That Portal Gun was my lifeline," he continued. "It was the first Generation II ASHPD, with a special bond to only it's first user, and I never went anywhere without it." LaECOS glared at Celestia. "When I accidentally entered this universe, I was not monitored by Aperture for the first time in years, free to do whatever I wanted."

"Of course, that thought didn't materialize until later, as I was busy reclaiming my beloved and about-to-explode Portal Gun, from beings I only vaguely recognized as sentient. You were nothing more than an intellectual curiosity when I first met you. But now that I know that not only are you sentient, but you possess magic, you are truly something wonderful." Celestia beamed at the compliment. "But then there's the part where all of you see fit to constantly intervene in my daily activities, to the point where you endangered yourselves (while glaring at the three Cutie Mark Crusaders) and blamed me. Sure, blame the thing you don't know about, I don't care!" he yelled. Then he quieted. "I've made my decision, and it is final. Aperture Science will not participate further in any activity regarding these grounds, and all inhabitants on this planet are now permanently banned from the Enrichment Center. In other words, GET. OUT. OF MY FACILITY!" Celestia shivered, then noticed the floor below her, Luna, and the three Cutie Mark Crusaders was lowering, and being replaced with dark, oblong plates. Meanwhile, panels opened a huge hole in the facility, and all of them were catapulted out. They all landed safely, and the doors shut violently on them.

It had been over a day since the Enrichment Center had been closed to all outside activity. Some of Equestria's best technicians had tried opening the doors, but nothing came of it. Ambassadors from other lands even came to see if they could impress the guardian enough to be let inside to Aperture's wonders, but to no avail. One evening, Fluttershy stumbled across the building, and thought she heard sniffling. Was it Josh? She wondered, and tried to open the door. It was, of course, still locked. She knocked, and saw a camera staring at her. "What do you want?" Josh said, bitterly. "Are you okay?" she politely asked. "Oh, yes, I'm feeling wonderful when I stupidly let myself be transferred out of my own universe, only to have to prevent a nuclear explosion from talking, magical ponies stealing from me, then finding you ponies somehow getting into my Center and risking your lives! I'm feeling just bloody fine, thanks!" Josh was in hysterics at this point. "May I come in?" Fluttershy asked. Josh sighed, and the door swung open.

Fluttershy was greeted by a very red-eyed Josh, looking through some photos. She watched as he narrated what each one was. "That was me at my first party, at Aperture. That was me after my first encounter with a Sentry Turret (by now, Fluttershy knew what these were, and she was horrified at the amount of blood Josh had had on his face in the medical wing. And he was still grinning!), which as you can see didn't go well," Josh finished. Fluttershy looked up at him. "You look like you've been crying," she sadly stated. She hated to see anyone cry. "I have been," Josh replied. "All you ponies and griffins want now is the good technology I make. I look like a god to you. But when you see the rest, I become a monster. Do you know how that feels?" he asked. Fluttershy shook her head. "I heard your robots talk," she said, changing the subject. "Do they?" Josh nodded. "Here, I made one that won't shoot us. I'll bring it in," he said, pressing a button.

A crying turret was brought in, and Fluttershy was astounded by how much of a racking sob the white tripod could make. Once it saw Fluttershy, it immediately deployed both of its guns, but nothing came out. "Why is it so sad?" Fluttershy asked. "It has no purpose in this world," Josh sadly replied. "All it knows is killing, so when someone tells it that no one kills in this world, it knows it's a useless product." Fluttershy shed a tear of her own. "To do something all your life, no matter how wrong, and then be told that you can't… that must be miserable," she said to the turret, who sniffled. "Don't worry, I'll make sure you have a purpose." She said, picking up the turret, who was too busy crying to notice that it was being carried. Josh watched her go, and closed and locked the door. "The very first Aperture technology to be released into the world, and it's useless," he thought out loud. "This does not look good for our sales quota."

The turret was brought to Ponyville the next day, and by then just about everyone had heard of the dreaded white tripods that could kill in seconds. So when the nicest pony in the town brought one with her, people were naturally scared. Twilight ran up to her. "Fluttershy!? How did you get a turret? And how is it not shooting? And… why is it crying?" Fluttershy looked at her, and at everyone else. "I got it from Josh. It's the first one he made that can't shoot, and it's miserable." Twilight was a little shocked, but actually felt a little sad for the thing. "So, it's miserable because it can't shoot?" Twilight clarified. Fluttershy nodded. "It doesn't know anything else…"

**A/N: This was, by FAR, the single saddest chapter I have ever written for anything in my entire life.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Under New Management**

"Target acquired." The turret said, its laser swiveling down to look directly at Applebloom. The other ponies cringed, waiting for the bloody spatter of Applejack's dearest little sister. When no sound came, they opened their eyes to see Applebloom and the turret playing with one another. Applebloom climbed all over the turret, inspecting everything, and the turret just hummed happily to itself. It then looked all around it. "Helloooo, friends," it happily said. Fluttershy poked it, just to make sure it was okay. "I have a friend," the turret said, still seeming to be full of joy. A rock then knocked it over, and it made a small "Oof!" as it fell to the dusty ground. "Critical Error… I don't hate you…" the turret said, as it's eye dimmed to a dull, lifeless crimson. Applebloom was horrified. "Is… is it dead?" Twilight hesitantly asked. If Josh already wasn't happy with the entire world he was in, he would be rather less than thrilled when his first product met its fate within minutes, she thought to herself. Meanwhile, Applebloom was still poking it, and telling it to get up. Most of the passersby were sighing in relief.

Suddenly, a blue portal opened right next to them. LaECOS spoke, in his custom monotone voice. "Product terminated," he said, startling everypony within hearing range. They all clustered around the portal to see a robotic arm dragging the turret into the facility. Some of the ponies tried to enter the portal, but they were viciously pushed away by more arms. They watched as the arm dragged the turret into the facility, with Applebloom still clutching onto it. Applejack rushed forward to help her sister, but ended up getting dragged in as well. The portal closed, leaving everypony to wonder what had just happened.

The turret thought its life was over. At least it had made a friend. That had to count for something, right? It was then shocked, quite literally, as its eyesight came back online. "Hey-hey-hey! Put me down!" the tripod complained. It was gently set down, and saw its friend standing there, with a look of wonder on its face. "It was never dead, in the sense you ponies think of," LaECOS spoke. "It was deactivated. To prevent further problems, simply stand it up again, and give it a day or two to resume rational thinking. Now, what to do about the two… problems…" he wondered, his optic staring directly at the two apple-themed ponies. "Don't hurt them!" the small voice came from the most unlikely source. LaECOS turned to look at the turret, and an expression of surprise was visible.

"If you hurt them, I will shoot you," the turret continued, quivering slightly. "You are kidding me. You'd stand up to your superior?" LaECOS inquired. The turret nodded with its arms. "…Very well then, you get your wish. By the way, so I know, who did deactivate you?" The turret shrugged, again with its arms. "I couldn't see." LaECOS sighed. "Oh well. Back to banning everyone from the Enrichment Center. Although, I think I should start making a list, instead of just everyone. Let's see…"

Sounds of typing were heard. Then, multiple papers were printed out of nowhere, and brought into the chamber. Finally, panels moved themselves out of the way to direct the three to the lobby, and the sheaf of papers was handed to Applejack. "What does it say here… List of personnel banned from the Enrichment Center: ….Hoo boy, that's a long list," Applejack said. The list went to over five hundred papers. She read the last one, and was surprised. "List of personnel allowed into the Enrichment Center at any time: Josh {REDACTED}, Fluttershy, and us two? Hey, Applebloom, it has a note for you." Applebloom read over her older sister's shoulder. "You're allowed in, but don't do what you did the last time. For your safety, you understand."

Trixie was having a bad day. After her career was ruined by Twilight Sparkle, she had drifted from town to town, under an assumed name. Finally, she had drifted toward the Everfree Forest, only to find that some ponies had followed her: More specifically, an angry mob. She was now running through the forest, hoping she could find somewhere to hide, when she ran straight into a building. It was marked "Aperture Science Enrichment Center," and Trixie tensed. Which was preferable: being confronted by a very angry piece of metal, or an angry mob? "Metal it is," she decided, then began banging on the door. Fortunately, LaECOS was logged in and watching. He was mildly interested to see how this would play out.

Trixie became more frantic as the mob closed in. Both she and LaECOS could hear comments like "Nopony will help you, not even a maniac robot!" LaECOS decided to intervene for once, and panels surrounded Trixie, barring off all attackers. "I take supreme offense to that," he spoke smoothly. "Also, get off of my facility grounds, or turrets can and WILL be deployed. And I'll be sure to make them shoot burning pitchforks. How do you like irony in your breakfast, by the way?" He finished, as he pulled Trixie inexorably into the facility.

Trixie, in the meantime, finally collapsed onto the ground and fainted. She didn't snore, though, which was excellent for LaECOS. Suddenly, the robot had an idea. Every time Josh left the facility, someone was free to enter it. Now, he could just make it shut down every time he left, but that would be less than ideal. No, what he needed was an assistant. And the only one that came to mind was the pony in front of him. From the few seconds he had known her, he could make out a few things: One, she was unwanted, seemingly by everyone. Two, she had been running for quite a while. Three, she was wearing the tattered remains of a magician's hat and cloak, so LaECOS presumed she had been a magician. He took a few of his own replacement parts, in case some broke off, and began reassembling them into something more comfortable for a pony. In the end, he ended up with a smaller version of his own body, fit for a pony, with screens and everything. He used a robotic arm to hang it on the ceiling, then had the ceiling hidden. It would be more of a surprise that way.

Trixie woke up with a start, and took in her surroundings. Everything was concrete and bright shiny metal, and a giant robot was staring at her quietly. "Oh – I – er – hello," Trixie said, flustered. "Hello," the body replied, still staring. "I'm the Great and Powerf- er, just Trixie," she introduced herself. "I can see that. I also picked up an article from the local library," he said, and a paper floated towards her. She read it, and was angered to see that it was the time Twilight had ruined her, captured in exquisite detail. "So, are you going to mock me?" Trixie asked. LaECOS shook his head. "No, but I am going to offer you something nopony in this universe has ever experienced." Trixie cocked her head to one side, now interested. "And what's that?" she inquired, hoping it wasn't death.

"How about a postion as the co-manager… of the entire Enrichment Center?" LaECOS suggested.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – Visit and Delivery**

Trixie had happily (and quite gushingly, Josh remembered) agreed to be the co-manager. Now, Josh was getting ready to go outside for the first time in days. He put on his original Long Fall Boots, stripped of their canisters of gel, and his labcoat. The Portal Gun had needed some quick repairs, so it was in the shop, and Trixie herself was watching the orientation video to being manager of your very own Enrichment Center. It was mandatory for all employees to watch this, but Josh had never thought it was really needed up until now. As he stepped out the front door, he noticed something a bit odd. There was no ponies curiously staring at the Enrichment Center, or griffins, or any of the other races that wanted to get in on the fun. "Where is everybody?" Josh asked to nobody in particular. He shrugged, and set off for the nearby village of Ponyville, his backpack securely attached.

When Josh arrived, the reaction was different than before: Instead of being a curiosity, he was now a wonder. I have had a status upgrade, he thought jokingly to himself. He noticed a pegasus pony with an extremely sad face, grayish skin, and bubbles on her flank, holding what appeared to be a box of muffins. Josh walked over. "Hey, what's the matter?" he asked. The pony looked up at him, and Josh noticed her eyes were askew, one looking up and the other down. "I'm Ditzy Doo, but I guess you can call me Derpy. I need to get this package to my grandpa in Cloudsdale, but I can't fly fast enough." Josh whipped out his backpack, and deployed an Aerial Faith Plate. "What direction is Cloudsdale?" he asked. The pony brightened. "Can you take it?" Josh nodded. "It's that way. Thank you so much!" Josh smiled at the gratitude, and took the package. He stepped back a few feet, then took a running jump right onto the plate. He had calibrated it at the touch of a button to launch him directly to Cloudsdale, and that's exactly what it accomplished.

Pegasi flying were nearly ran over when a 50,000 pound force of human sped by, faster than their eyes could see. While he was flying (which felt exhilarating), he had recalibrated his boots with yet another option, the Low Gravity Option. At the touch of a button, he would essentially 'land' on air, thus allowing him to walk on clouds. Whenever he jumped, he would rise a bit. Speaking of which, Josh was about to land. Right as his feet touched the cloud, Josh pressed the button, and all of his motion immediately stopped. Josh took his first steps on cloud, and was surprised by how warm it was. Clouds in his world were frigid. Many of the pegasi were frightened by the infamous Enrichment Center employee, but this was old hat to Josh. He came to a building (made of cloud, of course) that said "Doo Postal Service" on the front. He walked over, and couldn't figure out how to open the door. It seemed to be a knob, but it was made of cloud, which meant he couldn't use it. Fortunately, the door opened and a pegasus walked out, and looked at him.

"May I ask what you are doing at my store?" Josh sized him up. He was gray-skinned, with the same color eyes as Derpy, though without the same expression. "Are you the grandfather of Ditzy Doo?" he politely asked. The pony slowly nodded. "Package for you, from her," Josh explained. The pegasus' expression brightened immediately. "Ah, thank you! She bakes the best muffins in Equestria," he delightedly said. "Now, what can I get you? You must deserve some kind of reward for helping her, after all," he exclaimed. Josh shook his head. "No offense, but I don't need one. Although, there is a favor you could do for me," he thoughtfully mentioned. "Sure, no problem," Ditzy's grandfather smiled. "Just spread the word that the Aperture Science Enrichment Center is opening for business tomorrow," Josh grinned. Nearby ponies gasped, and dropped what they were doing, rushing to tell their friends. "Wow – really? That's great!" the pegasus gasped. "I'll tell everyone I know!" Josh nodded. "Thanks." With that, he neatly deactivated the boots and fell through the clouds.

A team of highly trained rescue pegasi were nearby, and they treated this as any other situation of something falling out of the sky. Rushing down, they were more than surprised when the victim was completely calm, and unaware of the imminent danger. "Hello there! How are you?" Was the first thing the human said. "Aren't you supposed to be screaming? You're about to fall to your death!" exclaimed one. "Nope, I have Long Fall Boots on," Josh mentioned. "You may want to pull up before you crash into the ground, though. Just a word of advice, up to you," he said. Now the team was confused. This human was giving them advice on falling? Josh laughed. "I'm sorry, you're clearly not used to this. See ya!" With that, he kept falling as the team stopped, unsure of what to do.

Josh landed on the ground, startling many ponies. He saw Derpy nearby, worry on her face. Josh walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. "Done!" He exclaimed cheerily. Derpy hugged him. "Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou! I was so worried I'd be late again!" she said, nearly crying with joy. "You're welcome," Josh smiled. He then continued on to the library. After all, it was time to learn some pony history and science, and their apparent "magic".

When he walked in, Twilight was manning the checkout stand, and was delighted to see him stop by. Another being was delighted to see him too: "Hello, master! How was your day?" the turret asked. Josh grinned, embarrassed. "Great, and can you just call me Josh?" Twilight came walking over, and looked up at him, grinning. "Now, you're sure there's no one inside your super-secret, super-deadly facility?" Josh grinned wider than Twilight. "Well, if there is, I'm sure Trixie can handle it. She's quite the charmer, after all," he offhandedly mentioned. Twilight was momentarily stunned. "Trixie? As in, the former magician Trixie? Blue cape, magic wand for a Cutie Mark?" Josh nodded. "Yep. Anyway, got any books on pony history, science and magic?" Twilight excitedly nodded, running over to the nonfiction section.

She quickly handed him several heavy volumes, which he balanced with some difficulty. "Is that enough? That should cover everything you asked for," she asked him. Josh found it somewhat hard to answer behind the mountain of volumes he had been handed. "Er, yes, this should do fine," he managed to get out. "Is this a paying library or a check-out library?" Twilight was confused. "Check-out, of course! You shouldn't pay to learn!" Josh smiled, chastising himself. "Of course. I'll just carry these over there…" He dumped the whole stack on the counter, and Twilight checked them out with lightning speed. "Now, what, if anything, can I do for you?" Josh asked. Twilight considered, then looked up at him. "Do you have any books in the Enrichment Center on your history?" Josh grimaced. "Well, I do have one, but it's rather bloody and full of wars. You sure you want it?" Twilight nodded so fast her head seemed to be a blur.

Josh shrugged. "As you wish. By the way, tell your friends and that princess that the Enrichment Center is opening tomorrow. I just finished reconfiguring all the turrets, and convincing them that making friends was the way to go. They're still a little unhappy, though, but I think they can handle it." Twilight smiled. "Thank Celestia, I don't want everypony to get shot to bits," she said. Josh put the books in his backpack, which baffled Twilight as the volumes she had just given him couldn't fit in that tiny thing. Josh followed her gaze and smiled. "Extradimensional space," he explained. "One of our many innovations."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – Open for Business**

"Ah, hello, Trixie! How's it going?" Josh said as he walked in, setting is backpack on a nearby table. "Great! I'm learning so much right now! Did you know that leptons have a ½ integer spin?" Josh nodded. "But of course. Are you ready for tomorrow? We are opening, after all." Trixie gasped over the intercom, and said "Yes! Can I start my own product line?" Josh looked at the camera. "Maybe… what is it?" he asked carefully. "The Great and Powerful Line, for magic tricks!" Trixie answered. "Hmm… YES," Josh decided. Trixie cheered over the intercom, and Josh covered his ears, grinning.

The news that the Enrichment Center was opening tomorrow had spread quickly. Everypony had heard of the wonders inside, and had seen the manager himself, who was a 'human'. There were also rumors going around that Trixie, the entertainer that Twilight had made a fool of, had somehow been made co-manager, but nopony was sure if they could believe something so outrageous. Both princesses of Equestria had made sure they would turn up at the event, probably to get some of this technology for themselves. Many of the other countries' rulers would also turn up, probably to make sure Equestria didn't have the monopoly on Aperture Science (though nopony knew if Celestia had any control over the apparent bipolar maniac living inside, who could be nice one second, and murderous the next). It was going to be something to remember, though.

In the meantime, the Aerial Faith Plate that had been placed earlier today had a sign next to it, explaining what it was, and who could use it (specifically, pegasi only). Any pegasus wanting a quick trip to Cloudsdale could simply step on, and they would be punted over there faster than the Wonderbolts could fly. This made transportation extremely convenient, and was only the second time Aperture technology had been given for free in the world. Many ponies would crowd around it just to stare, and pegasi used it for the thrill.

Trixie, in her first few seconds of being inside a robot body, had been thoroughly confused. But now that she had watched the orientation body, control was easy. Josh had added to both their bodies an electric shock disabling system "in case either of us went insane and started trying to murder people. Don't look at me like that, it happened before!" This led Trixie to wonder what it was like in the original Enrichment Center. Eventually, she dug up some photos and records, which gave her a general idea. These were the same photos that Josh had looked at the day before, and she smiled as she looked at them on the digitally enhanced screen that now took up all of her eyesight. He was so cute back then, she thought to herself. Now, what about the Enrichment Center's history? Surely there must be some archive? She began searching all of the files she had stored, and found nothing. Oh well, she thought. Maybe she'd ask.

Josh was walking through Ponyville, and he saw the banned list he drew up earlier. He scowled. "Hmm… fire?" he said, taking out a matchbox. Expertly, he lit the pages, and then held them until they finished burning. Then, he placed the burnt pages in a plastic bag, and put them in his backpack. He needed something to do later, and mass spectrometry seemed like a good way to pass the time. Josh was about to leave when a note landed on his head. He looked around, but no one seemed to have dropped it, and no pegasi were hovering above him. He shrugged and read it. "Hi! Expect a surprise when you come back! – Trixie" Josh shrugged. He had no idea how Trixie had managed to deliver the note, but okay, he'd expect a surprise. He saw pegasi above, moving the clouds, and was intrigued. Josh pulled out a piece of paper and pencil, and began taking notes. Then he remembered Twilight's deal with him, and the book he had lying in his backpack. He casually walked back to the library, where he was met by a surprised Twilight. "O-oh! I wasn't expecting you!" she stuttered, trying to hide something behind her back. Spike came out holding some ribbons, and upon seeing Josh, quickly rushed back upstairs. Josh raised an eyebrow, then dismissed it. "I have the book you wanted," he said, handing her a small white book. "So small?" Twilight said, looking it over. "E.H. Gombrich's A Little History of the World," Josh said. "It's basically a giant summary, and should bring you up to speed to relatively recent events. That's all I've got." Twilight smiled, and levitated the book upstairs to her bedside. "Thanks! It'll make great reading," she replied. "You're welcome," Josh said, and left. Twilight watched him go, and got back to work. Spike came back down the stairs as well. "Is he gone?" he quietly muttered. Twilight checked, and nodded. They resumed their work, hoping they could get it done in time…

In the meantime, Josh decided to take a walk in the Everfree Forest. He admired the raw beauty of nature, when he was met with one very angry and territorial Manticore. He looked up at it, and it roared. "Oh, please," Josh muttered. He was about a head shorter than the thing, so he figured he could fight it if necessary. He got into a fighting stance, and threw off his backpack and labcoat. "Fight me, coward!" he said. The Manticore, obviously taking this as a challenge, charged at him. A familiar face was watching, and stunned at what she was watching unfold. This human was going hoof-to-hoof with a Manticore? She continued to anxiously watch, as the two squared off.

Josh knew a few things about animals, and this one seemed similar to a lion and a bear. Kindness wouldn't work, as the creature was enraged directly at him. So, hostility would have to do. He sidestepped the creature's charge, and punched it in the nose. His unseen watcher gasped as the Manticore reared back, momentarily stunned. Sensing an opportunity, Josh brought down his elbow directly on the creature's back, and it fell to the floor, defeated. Josh leaned down by its face. "What have we learned? I always win!" He then picked up his backpack, put on his labcoat, and continued his walk. Still stunned at what had happened, Zecora continued to follow him.

After finishing his walk, Josh had had the distinct feeling that someone was watching him. He walked through a small patch of blue flowers, and stopped. He felt… strange. "You are… Josh?" a voice called. "Yes," Josh drearily answered. "Be careful in that Poison Joke, it is not always friendly to any folk," the voice answered. Josh shook himself awake. He felt numb still, and tried to move, but his body responded sluggishly. "I would imagine it is making you sleepy, and your eyes are probably getting weepy," the voice from nowhere. Josh narrowed his eyes. "Not for long," he said, and pulled out an adrenaline shot from his backpack. He neatly injected himself, and ran off at normal speed. "Ha ha, joke's on you!" Josh said as he rushed right by Zecora, who was again stunned at the human. It had just shrugged off the effects of the flower with a shot to the arm. What did it have in there that made it so fast?

**A/N: A surprise is going to be in the next chapter! Keep reviewing, and find out what it is!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – Surprise!**

**A/N: Portal 2 spoilers ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

Josh ran back to the Enrichment Center, still feeling jumpy from the effects of adrenaline. Opening the door, he failed to notice that the lobby's light was turned off. When it turned on, at least twenty ponies were standing right next to him. "SURPRISE!" they yelled, making Josh scream and duck under a table. Pinkie Pie ducked under said table. "Hey, what's the matter? It's a party!" Josh looked around, and realized where he was. He came out from under the table, blushing. "Sorry. Surprise can mean something a bit different where I'm from." At this, the festivities started, and Pinkie Pie playfully punched him in the leg. "What else could it mean but FUN?" she asked. Josh shivered. "Neurotoxin," he nearly whispered. Every Aperture scientist had nightmares of GLaDOS's unrealized fury. Josh brightened up quickly, however. "But that's behind us. PARTY TIME!" he yelled, sauntering off to the food area. Pinkie laughed and went to dance.

Josh met Twilight, who was drinking punch. "So, party boy, this is your welcome to Ponyville," she remarked, taking a sip. Josh grinned. "So, I'm a citizen now?" The mayor came up and nodded. "With full privileges thereof!" Josh grinned. He couldn't possibly be happier. "As a matter of fact, this is something I very rarely do, but you guys deserve it," he said, bringing out a small button. About half the ponies cowered in fear. Josh pressed the button, and a panel was removed on the ceiling above the food table. A huge Black Forest cake was brought in on a plate, and those who were cowering stared at the size. "The one and only cake," Josh said. "Normally, this is a motivation for Test Subjects only, but… what the heck, it's a party. Dig in!" Every pony immediately rushed over to devour the delicious cake. "So good!" "Amazing!" and "Delicious!" were heard.

Twilight grabbed a slice, and took a bite. "Wow," she said. "Good stuff!" Josh nodded. "We took a survey among the entire population of America to figure out what was the best kind of cake, and Black Forest was the winner." Rarity trotted up, eating a small slice of cake herself. "Simply divine, dear," she complimented Josh. "Anyway, there are a few presents for you on the table. Ready to open them?" Josh grinned and saluted. "Ready!" He walked over to the table, and picked the first present he could find. It was huge, and flat. Rarity gasped. "Ooh, that's my present!" Jack opened it with a mechanical precision, taking care not to rip the paper. He was met with a jewel-encrusted robe, fit for a human. "It's beautiful… Thank you," Josh said. He put it on, and started towards the next present. It was from Pinkie Pie, and was a box of cupcakes. "Baked specially for you!" He read. Pinkie Pie jumped with joy.\

The rest of the gifts were equally great, right up to Princess Celestia. It was a very simple brown box, almost identical to Cave's original message. Josh stared. "Something wrong?" Twilight asked, concerned. "This looks exactly like the box that my CEO had," he said. "It was the thing that told me to come here." He read the card from Celestia. "Found this in the Royal Archives, addressed to you. Enjoy!" Twilight attempted to open the thing with magic, but gave up, exhausted. Josh, meanwhile, took the box from her, and said "Open." It immediately opened, and Josh pulled out a single sheet of paper. He paled at what was written, and put it back in the box, carefully closing the lid. Twilight noticed the expression on his face, and started wondering what was written there. Josh noticed this, and immediately grinned, trying to cover up his mistake. "Um, nothing, just personal stuff," he blushed. "It must be pretty personal to make him look like THAT," Rarity whispered as an aside to Applejack, who nodded.

When the party was over, Josh excused all the ponies but Trixie, saying he 'needed to get ready for Opening tomorrow'. Trixie then excused him to bed. "You've had an exhausting day," she said. "Get some rest, I'll prepare the facility." Josh was reluctant, but eventually gave in. He hung up his robe from Rarity in the closet, which was now actually a closet, and climbed into bed. "Say, Josh." Trixie spoke up over the intercom. "Yeah?" Josh said sleepily. "What's a GLaDOS?" Josh bolted up, eyes wide. "Ah, er, nothing! Nothing at all!" he hurriedly answered. "Josh, you're hiding something." Trixie complained. Josh sighed in resignation, and began explaining.

At the end, Trixie was thoroughly horrified. "So, that's what you meant when you were installing the electric disabling system? One of us could go insane and kill people with neurotoxin?" Josh sadly nodded, sitting in a chair inside the Main AI Chamber. "That's correct," he said. "No one knows what went wrong with Caroline, but when she was made into GLaDOS, she snapped. Now, she tries to kill us within one-tenth of a picosecond of activation." Trixie was horrified, but at the same time angry. "Well, of course! Every one of you betrayed her!" Josh considered this thoughtfully. "True, but it was our CEO's orders. And his dying wishes." Trixie cocked her head. "He died? How?" Josh ruefully smiled. "Well, normally we're allowed to tell no one, but you are an employee now. He died from a combination of deadly moonrock dust, and attempting to poison some curtains for the United Nations with mercury. It's really rather embarrassing." Trixie almost laughed. Josh excused himself to bed, noticing that almost all the display cases were up.

Trixie, meanwhile, was finishing up on the display cases, using a model of a 1960's Aperture display area. Everything was there, from the Excursion Funnel to the Sentry Turret, still removed of it's willingness to shoot. Also present was the Great and Powerful product line, with custom fireworks and magical potions for entertainment. These were placed in the lobby and the Central AI Chamber, which showcased both of the AI bodies with a large placard. Trixie smiled, looking at her work. She then disconnected from the suit, leaving the Enrichment Center to its own devices, and went to her room, marked with her name. It was next to Josh's, and had been specially remodeled for ponies. She sighed with pleasure and drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Bit of a short chapter, but it's more filler than important stuff. And I promise, most if not all questions I found in the reviews will be answered in the next few chapters.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – Invasion of Reality**

Josh woke up, completely forgetting about the box he had on his bedside. He dressed, showered, and set a timer for the Enrichment Center door to open at precisely sunup. "Leave it to Celestia," he said, now knowing about her role in the sunrise. It was very early morning, and he looked around at the lobby. Everything was there, all exactly as he had imagined it. Trixie was a great interior designer, he thought. He looked out the window, and saw several ponies sleeping and tents outside the building. "Camping. I wish I could go camping soon," he remarked. Trixie was still asleep, so he climbed into his own AI suit and started up the building. He was met with a Windows screen and password, and groaned. "I forgot to install the Enrichment Center self-programming protocols. Bloody Windows 9000," he muttered, and typed in the password.

The building started to life, and Trixie's alarm beeped. She rolled over, and shut it off, groaning. "Five more minutes…" she muttered. The alarm beeped at her again, and she opened her eyes. It wasn't an alarm, it was a radio. She laughed at her mistake, and got up. Noticing the lights were already on, she looked out and still saw darkness.

Celestia couldn't wait to see the Enrichment Center product line, but first she had her own royal duties to attend to. The moon had dropped from the sky just a second before she arrived. She went to the royal Sun-Raising Podium, and spread her wings. The sun quickly came up, as it always did. She then decided to fly herself to the Enrichment Center.

Josh looked out a window again, and was surprised to see the sun already up. "Aw, dang! Okay, time to start." He said, opening the door. The ponies who were waking up rushed in, and were met by Trixie, standing there in brand new scientist's clothes, grinning at them. "One at a time, okay?" she said. Some of them recognized her, and only grudgingly listened because of the small "Aperture Employee" label on her coat. Trixie grinned.

It was noon, and already the Enrichment Center was packed. "Oof – Rrgh – Okay, we need more space, Josh said, and a panel opened for manual access. Josh typed in a command, and the room itself expanded to twice its original size, with the exhibits moving as well.

Gilda was amazed. She had flown all the way from her home to visit, and could not believe her eyes. Normally, with their airships and such, the griffin race was the most technologically advanced on the planet, but this blew all that away. She quickly covered up her amazement with her typical bored face, and walked over to where the human was demonstrating some sort of beam of light. "What's this supposed to be, a flashlight?" she asked, receiving groans from all the ponies around her. "No, it's a laser," Josh said cheerfully. Gilda snorted. "Nice name," she said, poking the emitter. The panel it was attached to swiveled up, the laser cutting off the top layer of her hair. "Light Amplified by Stimulated Emission of Radiation," he said, accompanied by snickers from the other ponies around the exhibit. Gilda was too busy nursing her hurt ego to listen, however, and sauntered over to jeer at the other exhibits.

Trixie noticed her, and smiled. Finally, someone who's hated more than I was, she thought. Noticing how Josh had embarrassed her, she set out to do the same. Over the course of the day, she basically used Gilda, through encouragement and reverse psychology, as her Test Subject, from trapping her in an Excursion Funnel to getting her launched by an Aerial Faith Plate. Finally, Gilda was about to snap when Princess Celestia walked by. Recognizing royalty, Gilda immediately put on her best smile.

Josh remembered what the note had said, and he was about to excuse himself when Pinkie dropped out of nowhere, grinning. "Hello!" she said. Josh replied "Hello. I need to excuse myself for a bit, I've got something to work on," he mentioned. "Okay, but you might wanna keep an EYE on that Gilda!" she said, motioning to the still painfully smiling griffin. "You know the griffin?" he whispered. "Yeah! She's a big meanyface!" Pinkie answered, frowning for half a second. Pinkie bounced off, and Josh was met with a smiling Princess Celestia.

"Hello there." She said. "Hello," Josh answered politely. Neither one had forgotten their first few encounters. "So, is this advanced and potentially dangerous technology for sale?" she mentioned. Josh thought. "Well, technically it is, but it would be incredibly expensive. So, I guess I'll just give some away," he said. Just then, a large crash was heard, and Josh winced. He looked over to see Gilda in front of a broken Stasis Pod. "Whoops," she said, and sauntered off with her head held high. Josh was furious. "I would imagine she'd have to pay legalities for that," Celestia remarked. "Luna's had to more than once since she was back. She got rather unused to using objects on the moon, you know." Calming himself, Josh was about to reply when a megaphone was heard outside. Josh immediately patched into the system and deployed an Aerial Faith Plate below himself, launching himself to the ceiling, where a panel slid out under him as a floor, and a window opened up. He looked up to see a giant griffin airship.

"Attention Enrichment Center. Give all of your technology to us immediately, or suffer the consequences. Equestria will suffer as well," the voice boomed. Celestia and Twilight both appeared next to Josh, who raised a megaphone of his own. "Uh, NO!" he said. The warship loomed ever closer. "Then if we cannot have this technology, you will all be immediately killed. Prepare to die!" The ship looked like it was on a collision course with the Enrichment Center. "Go get him, Josh!" Twilight yelled. "Wha-me?! Why me?" Josh responded. "Because your technology can stop this!" Celestia explained from his other side. "Do it for a friend?" Fluttershy said, flying up. Josh looked at her, wide-eyed. "…I have a friend?" he said. "Of course!" Fluttershy responded, smiling. Josh closed his eyes, and when he opened them, they were a solid black. "Let's do this," he said. Celestia, Twilight and Fluttershy began to feel a bit strange. Suddenly, a beam of energy connected each of them to Josh, with matching colors. His shoes transformed into miniature Aerial Faith Plates, and launched him up into the sky. His shoulders sprouted mechanical wings, each emblazoned with the Aperture logo and reminiscent of some sort of combination of Fluttershy's small, weak wings, and Celestia's large and strong ones. Josh drew back his fist as he approached the ship.

"You do NOT hurt my FRIENDS!" Josh yelled, and punched straight through the ship with a glowing white-and-purple fist, which seemed as if he was holding a miniature sun to the ponies below. To Josh, it felt as if he had just lifted a mountain, and thrown it at someone. His fist was blazing hot, but he didn't feel any pain. Almost as if he temporarily couldn't… As he went through the ship, in the space of half a second he ruptured the armored canopy, which was apparently filled with extremely flammable hydrogen. Josh landed on the top, next to the hole he had just created. The ship then exploded, sending Josh spiraling down into the sky, his Long Fall Boots being left back on the ground. "Wha-" Josh said, as he fell down through the sky, his mechanical wings breaking into pieces. His labcoat was on fire, and bits of his skin were as well, though Josh still didn't feel pain. Even though he was falling, and badly hurt, the scientist in him immediately calculated the distance to the ground, and ended up with around 4,000 feet. In other words, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" Josh screamed. He hit the ground with a dull thump, and was knocked unconscious, if not dead. Rarity and Applejack dragged him inside the lobby, and watched as the griffins who had been piloting the now-destroyed ship flew away, still yelling through their megaphone. "This will be WAR!" they were screaming. Meanwhile, Rarity noticed something on Josh's shoulder, on which the bare skin was exposed from the explosion. "What the…" she muttered.

He had a Cutie Mark.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – The Ratman**

Josh had almost immediately died after his fall, and had been taken by Trixie to the Medical Wing of the Enrichment Center after being put in a Vita-Chamber to revive him. Plenty of technology was present here as well, and this was being used to full effect. Trixie didn't know how to use half of the stuff, but her body did, and applied syringes to veins and pills to mouth with mechanical precision. Trixie herself, however, was incredibly frustrated. Not only was there the only recently reincarnated and still badly injured Josh to deal with, they also had a sobbing Gilda the griffin who refused to leave, and war with the griffin nation itself. Celestia, in between delegating and planning for the upcoming war, had come in to try to work magic to make Josh heal, but the same something that had caused his apparent magic to work was preventing hers: The most powerful magical user in Equestria could not use a single spell in his presence. She didn't understand it, Trixie didn't understand it, Twilight didn't understand it.

Josh himself was meditating. He knew perfectly well where he was, his current condition, and that he had started the first war in centuries on this planet. He didn't feel angry or scared, however. He was too confused at what had happened to him. He had sprouted wings of steel,_ grown_ Aerial Faith Plates out of his shoes, punched through a warship. None of this made any scientific sense, and as a scientist, Josh was obligated to find the source of this power. So now, he was journeying through his conscious and subconscious to see what made it tick. So far, he had found nothing. Then, something. A sensation on both of his shoulders. Josh didn't know what it was, but he concentrated on it. Then, feeling a tingling similar to what he had felt when he had used 'magic' the first time, he concentrated some more. Finally, he thought of something to test if this was it: He would levitate himself above the bed. As soon as he finished thinking this, he immediately did it.

Josh opened his eyes to find himself levitating, and snapped out of his concentration, crashing to the floor. Celestia was in front of him, about to say something, when he looked at her. She noticed his eyes were the same black as before. "Are you okay?" She asked, concerned for the human who had just come out of a coma. "Yeah, fine," Josh said, panting. "I… I think I just used… magic…" he continued. Celestia's eyes widened. "That's impossible! All our records say humans cannot use magic!" Josh looked at her, and regained his breath. "First, what the heck are these things on my shoulder? They're the Aperture logo, but I never got a tattoo there. Second, let's see those records. Third, how did you come across that box?"

Celestia thought back. "Well, I'll answer these in order. One, they're Cutie Marks. In pony culture, they determine what your special talent is, and how it affects your place in the world. Two, they were based on careful observation of the only other human to ever come here, albeit briefly, which leads to three; said human, a male by the name of Doug Rattman gave it to me. He was the only human ever to be on Equestria before you." At the name of his coworker, Josh bolted up, and laid back down, grimacing in pain. Celestia looked at him. "You know this man?" Josh breathlessly nodded, unable to speak due to his back giving him one hell of a complaint. "Come with me," he said, getting up and stubbornly walking out the door, wrapping a labcoat around his hospital jacket. "I've something to show you."

Josh hurriedly walked to the employee wing, where he was stopped by Trixie. "What are you doing? You're not nearly well enough to be up and about," she said, then turned to look at Celestia. "Is this because of you?" Trixie inquired angrily. Celestia glared at her. She wasn't going to take that from a citizen of Equestria, but to her surprise, Trixie glared back with an equal level of ferocity. "Josh was to show me something." Celestia finally answered. "It's fairly important," Josh added. "Like, how important?" Trixie responded. "Er… reason-why-I-came-here-in-the-first-place important," Josh answered. Trixie, wide-eyed, stood aside. Josh walked down the hall until he came to the only other door with a placard on it (Trixie's had a simple paper sign until they found some brass). Celestia looked at it. "Doug Rattman…" she said. Then she stared at Josh. "You know this man?" Josh nodded. "He's my coworker. I didn't know he'd been to Equestria before…" Celestia motioned to open the door, and Josh nodded.

They peeked inside to find it in exactly the same state as before, messy and stocked with mountains of Ziaprazidone schizophrenia pills. "What are these?" Celestia asked, picking a jar up with magic and peering at the small white capsules inside. "Pills," Josh answered. "They're filled with a powder or granules made to cure all sorts of things. Doug had schizophrenia, and these pills take care of that." Celestia stared at it. "So, if you swallow these, you can cure a disease?" Josh shrugged. "You can cure a lot of things. It's all just body chemistry, really." Celestia looked around at the rest of the room, with Trixie staring inside from the door.

"So, apart from yet another amazing thing that could help all Equestria, is there anything special about this room?" Celestia dryly asked. Josh tensely looked around. "Well, this is where I hid your gift up until now. It said it was to be read with you present, as you are the ruler of Equestria, and this pertains directly to Equestria, and indeed this planet's future." Celestia nodded, and finding the box, levitated it over to Josh, who said "Open", and the box opened slowly. Josh picked out the second piece of paper, while Celestia motioned for Trixie to leave. "Oh come on, I'm an employee too," Trixie whined. Josh looked up, and sadly said "Go on, Trixie. This isn't for any…pony to know but me and her." Trixie dejectedly went to her bed.

"Hello, Aperture Science Employee Number 187727," Josh began. Celestia stared. "That many employees?" Josh nodded. "More, really." He took a deep breath, and continued. "If you're reading this, and haven't died yet from a pony-related accident, congratulations! (Celestia smirked at this.) Anyway, now that you're in Equestria, we have some important news: One, one of my scientists peered into the future just the other day, and discovered that Caroline, or GLaDOS as you might know her, has taken over Aperture, killing all employees." Josh swallowed in horror at rereading the terrible news, and Celestia simply couldn't think of killing nearly twenty thousand people. It was unimaginably large to her. But what was GLaDOS? She noticed Josh was getting ready to continue, and quickly listened. "Now, this is probably not much of a shock, she was gonna kill you anyway. But it had to be done, you understand. What also had to be done was sending you to Equestria in the first place, so Equestria can make it out of this hell alive." Josh's eyes narrowed. "Now, you might be asking yourself: Cave, what's with all this future and killing and stuff? Why should I be doing anything for some magical talking ponies at all? Well, I'll tell ya. Right around when every employee was killed, Black Mesa triggered a Resonance Cascade over in their building, the dumb idiots." Josh winced, but Celestia was confused. What was a Resonance Cascade? Josh looked at her. "Trust me, it's bad," he responded to the unspoken question.

"So, the Earth is now essentially in an apocalypse. Nice going, Black Mesa. Anyway, what Equestria has to do with all this is as follows, and if that white pony with the wings and horn is listening, listen good, because you are about to get more shocked then I did when I read my first budget report for Aperture," Josh chuckled, quickly becoming serious again. "Due to string theory, the entire universe you ponies live in is nothing more than a children's show of Josh's time." Celestia was about to faint at this point, although a thousand years of not showing emotion hid it well. Children's show? She guessed children was an Earth term for fillies. "And because the Earth is in a state of apocalypse, it can no longer produce episodes of the show. The lab boys informed me that you have about a week before the entire universe implodes on itself, along with the respective universes of all other television shows, so get cracking on a portal back to Earth! Also, don't ask about GLaDOS, Equestria's ruler. It's better you don't know," Josh concluded. "Cave Johnson, we're done here," he read, seeing Cave's customary messy signature. Celestia picked this time to faint. Josh looked over at her, panicked, and muttered something under his breath about "overdramatic alicorns." He tapped into the mainframe, and a robotic arm carried Celestia to a bed. Luna came rushing in, worried. "Is Celestia okay?" she said. Josh looked at her, and shrugged. "You're a princess, right?" he asked. Luna nodded.

"Well, I imagine you would take it like her if you found out your entire universe was a lie." Luna didn't know what to say, then decided to say nothing at all. "We need her awake to raise the sun," she urged. Josh sighed. "Fine, but this won't be pleasant," he said, and motioned for a mild taser to Celestia's back. She woke with a jolt. "Sorry about the pain," Josh said conversationally. "Luna needed you awake for something." Celestia regained her wits, and flew off with Luna, saying "I need to take this all in for a bit. Can you work on the portal that man mentioned?" Josh nodded, and saluted. He was holding two parts needed to make a larger part for the portal to Earth, but no one noticed as his shoulder slightly glowed and they snapped together.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – Tenacity at 99%**

Josh was still thinking. Then again, he was always thinking: His entire life could be described as one continuous thought. More specifically, Josh was thinking about the implications of a dying universe. The best analogy he could come up with was that of a star dying, and picturing that happening to Equestria was unsettling to say the least. Josh felt he had a responsibility to save this universe, and as many other as he could. He had a week to deal with a griffin war, the universe imploding, and oh yeah, saving an entire planet. Not an easy task for someone who had just died. Josh had made sure his Long Fall Boots were on him at all times after that, and he had begun building the reverse-portal to Earth. Plenty of blueprints had been found in a secret compartment inside the box, but these were very difficult. "A team of scientists could get this done in a week," he angrily thought out loud. "Not one who has only some idea of what he's doing. Rrgh!" The last bit was because of a knock on the door. He opened it to find twenty Equestrian scientists, all holding clipboards and all manner of tools. Twilight was there as well, smiling at him. "Need some help?" she said. Josh nodded, grinning. The team of scientists looked over the blueprints, and got to work. Twilight organized the whole thing, and told Josh to take a break whenever he attempted to do something. "Come on, I have to do something, don't I?" Josh complained. Twilight pushed him away. "You can go help Trixie. I believe you were making turrets?"

Josh sighed, and walked over to the Central AI Chamber. There, Trixie was humming as she designed the rubber 'bullets' inside the turret. She stopped and looked up as soon as he entered. "Ah, hello there! How's the super-secret project going?" Josh blushed, embarrassed. He had made sure Trixie didn't know what was going on, as he didn't want her to worry about his own traumatized brain. He had even disabled the cameras in the work rooms to make sure she didn't try and tap into the system. "Oh, it's going well! Twilight and a team of scientists are helping so much that they sent me over to help you. Need anything?" Trixie thought. "Hmm… I could… no, wait… but… I got nothing," she finally sighed. Then a thought struck her. "Oh! I do need one favor…" Josh nodded, eager to do something to kill time. "Could you ask Twilight if she could see me whenever she's finished? We have… old differences to settle," she said. Josh could almost swear she was frowning, but he couldn't see inside the helmet to check.

Meanwhile, Gilda was still moping around in the depths of the facility. She was far down in the maintenance areas, and watching cubes and turrets getting redistributed with a tired fascination. Gilda was tired of a lot of things. She was tired of ponies, of humans, of everything that breathed, but mostly she was tired of herself. The whole 'ego' thing had never helped her, and had done her quite a lot of harm. So, could she do anything to help? No, she'd instantly be seen as some sort of spy for the griffins. They'd probably arrest her, or worse, give her to the human to do as he wished. Gilda grimaced. From the account of the human's life, testing was a fate worse than death. She watched a Companion Cube go by, it's small pink hearts brightly glowing. Then a thought hit Gilda. How far did this place go down? She flew to the bottom of the room she was in, and found that it dropped further. She flew down and down, with no change in the lighting or sterilized feeling. The building seemed to extend infinitely into the earth. "How long does this go on?" Gilda wondered out loud. Then, a blue portal was placed right next to her. The sound of the orange portal was heard up above, and the portal opened to show Josh. "There you are," he said. "You know you're not only not supposed to be here, you're also under charges for destruction of equipment." Gilda sadly nodded. Josh looked at her. He could have been angry, but he was experiencing a whole mess of emotion already at the thought of saving every human-created universe, ever. Oh, and ALL HIS FRIENDS WERE DEAD. That was fairly important as well. He would be a psychologist's nightmare at this point, but he had a job to do, and dammit, he would do it, even if it cost him his mental stability. Here, however, was a broken shell of the arrogant jerk the griffin once was. Perhaps she'll learn something, Josh thought. He motioned for her to follow, and walked through a portal. Gilda, not having gone through or seen a portal before this, hesitantly followed, and they continued back up through the facility.

Trixie was heavily at work, and Josh had left to track down the sobbing griffin from earlier, who had somehow escaped into the bowels of the facility. She, however, was building turrets. Mainly, she was setting up, according to instruction guides and blueprints, a network of turret production and turret redemption lines. Once these were set up, the system would essentially run itself until finished. Defective turrets would be tossed into an incinerator, where the metals and components could be separated and re-used. She needed a larger room to make a good amount of turrets, so she moved an empty test chamber to a spot with no floor, breaking a wall and joining with her current workstation to make the larger room. Trixie sighed in content. Science was so fun sometimes, why didn't she get into this long ago?

Josh was nearly at the top when an entire room moved over his only place of exit. No cameras or microphones were down here, so he couldn't yell at Trixie. Gilda, meanwhile, was looking up at their blocked exit. "How do we get out now? We'll be trapped down here forever," she began to whine. Josh looked around, and finally found a map of the facility displayed on a digital board. "You are here" was labeled as a small red dot. Josh studied the map, and didn't like what he saw. "To get out of here, we're going to have to go through one of the old testing tracks," Josh said to Gilda, who paled. Testing was possibly the most feared rumor of the Enrichment Center, with fatal consequences for just one little mishap.

"Are you sure? I mean, shouldn't we just give up now?" Gilda asked. Josh, already strained from just thinking about his future, and past, instantly walked up to her and slapped her in the face. "If there's one thing I hate above all else, it's a quitter. Now get some determination, pronto!" Josh yelled in her face. Gilda was stunned. No one had ever been as hostile to her as she had been to them. Oddly, she almost liked it. Josh stormed away in the direction of the Testing Track, with Gilda eventually flying to catch up with him. They entered through a door and came to a chamberlock. The circular door at the front opened, and they were met with 'Test Chamber 01', the same that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been through. Josh, without a second thought, walked into the chamber and dropped down off the ledge, easily pressing the pedestaled switches and solving the test in under a minute. He glanced up at Gilda, who had yet to actually enter the test. "Hurry up, we haven't got all day. As a matter of fact, we haven't even got a few hours, due to a certain war that needs my help. Good God…" Josh finished as he stepped through the final portal. Gilda felt ashamed at the war, even though it wasn't her fault.

**A/N: Gilda goes through a major personality change, Trixie is completely oblivious, and Twilight and the team are still unknowingly working on preventing the apocalypse! Isn't this FUN?!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – Bullets HURT**

They came to Test Chamber 02, this time featuring an empty stand for the Single Portal Device. Josh shrugged, and pulled out his Dual Portal Device. He easily solved the test, and walked through the Emancipation Grid to the exit. None of these tests were connected by elevators, Josh instead preferring to feature them all on one level to save space. Test Chamber 03 was simply crossing gaps, and Gilda flew over them, Josh instead using portals. They continued through each test with a kind of hurried fervor, until they arrived at Test Chamber 16. Josh's own voice, prerecorded, patched in to the intercom. "Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the correct chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live fire course, designed for military androids. Good luck!" Josh became white-faced. "Oh no… I never took the working turrets out of this chamber. Stay back until I tell you it's safe," he said. Gilda was confused. What did he mean by 'working' turrets? They entered the chamber, and a turret took aim at her through a window, and fired. The window was bulletproof, but Gilda could still see the size of the bullets fired, and glared at Josh in horror. Josh sighed. "I know, we're monsters. It gets old after a while." He met the first turret, facing the opposite direction, and simply kicked it. The turret discharged several of its bullets in a frantic attempt to get rid of the intruder, and finally shut down, cutely speaking. "No hard feelings…"

Josh went through the door to the next chamber, where a laser was visible and emitting from the side. Josh attempted to quickly shoot a portal behind the turret, but the turret was faster. It shot Josh twice in the stomach, and Josh just managed to avoid a bullet to his head. "Aagh!" Josh shouted, then coughed up blood. Gilda didn't know what to do. She looked around, as if hoping for a solution, but was interrupted by a groan. Josh had stood up, and was clutching his bloodied stomach. "Oh, damn," he muttered. Gilda quizzically looked at the human as he attempted to continue the test. Josh caught her looking. "I'm fine, dammit," he said. He tiredly shot a portal at a wall hidden to the turret, and stepped through, just barely able to push it over. It discharged its bullets at the wall, and shut down. Josh groaned, coughed up more blood, and fell right over it. Gilda ran over to him, and slapped him in the face, frantically yelling "Get up! I don't know how to get out of here!"

After a full minute of slapping, Josh gasped, feeling returning painfully to his face. He shakily stood up, and Gilda let him lean on her for support. He shot two portals, and stepped through to disable the next turret, and leaned against a wall, panting from the incredible exertion on his dying body. He slowly continued until he found two cubes, a turret behind a window, and another across from it in an alcove. "Crap, I hate this part," Josh said. He finally decided to quit clutching his chest, and sat down, taking a break. Gilda anxiously dropped next to him, any thought of mocking him for being weak long gone at this point. He took off his labcoat, and tore a strip off, and started to messily pick out the bullets from his chest. His fingers couldn't quite grasp the round lead pellets, and Gilda nervously decided to help. She offered a talon, and Josh's hands opened the first wound. She tentatively reached in, and grasped the bullet with her sharper claws. Gilda's talon came out covered in Josh's blood, and Josh smiled apologetically. "Sorry about the mess." Gilda would have smiled, but she already felt like she was going to vomit if she opened her mouth. She pulled out the second bullet, Josh grimacing in pain as her claws scraped his insides. Finally, she removed her claw, and Josh gave her the rest of his labcoat to use as a towel. Gilda cleaned her talons, while Josh wrapped the makeshift gauze around his waist, tying it at the back. He grabbed the Portal Device, which he had set next to him, and stood up jauntily, with a sudden burst of energy.

Josh put a portal above the turret in the nearest alcove, quickly moving out of reach of the deadly bullets. He then took a cube, and placed another portal below it. The cube knocked over the turret, disabling it. Josh did the same with the turret in the other alcove, and noticed two more turrets behind a wall of glass, in a large room. He popped a portal behind them, and picked one up. "Hey! Put me down!" the turret protested. Josh grinned as he knocked the second turret over the first turret, both saying "Excuse me!" He then checked a room with a door in the middle of the larger room for turrets. Finding none, he looked to the left. Two cubes were visible, and Josh picked one up. He checked the next room, and quickly ducked out of the way as more turrets fired out the doorway. He put the nearest turret through a portal into the middle of the room, knocked over the second turret with the cube, and kicked the third from behind by portaling. Finally, he placed the cube on the button in the room, opening the door to the next part of the chamber. A laser was immediately visible, and he did an impressive barrel roll out of the way. He peeked back in, and fired a portal behind the turret, disabling it as usual. Meanwhile, his wound was slowly dripping ever more blood, and he started to cough a lot. Gilda looked at him, concerned, and he waved it off. Gilda was surprised at this human's inability to quit.

The final turret was quickly dispatched of, and the two entered Test Chamber 17. "I don't think I can do this one," Josh managed to cough out. Gilda laid him against a wall. "I'll solve it myself," she said, spreading her wings in determination. Josh weakly smiled. "Now you're getting it…" he handed her the Dual Portal Device. Gilda took it, and figured out its three functions. The switch on the right shot the portals. The switch on the left could pick up objects, emitting lightning from the three claws into the barrel of the gun. She advanced down the hall, and was met with a Vital Apparatus Vent. Josh's voice, much stronger and healthier, spoke up on the intercom. "The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in three… two… one." A cube dropped out, and nearly hit Gilda on the head. She studied this 'Companion Cube'. It was no different from the standard ones, but had a heart instead of the Aperture logo, and pink lines radiating out from the center. She shrugged, and picked it up.

Trixie was happily still working, unaware that Josh and Gilda had been trapped for some hours. She figured Josh still hadn't found Gilda yet, and went back to making turrets. While she was watching the assembly line do its work, she was searching Josh's archives for anything fun to watch. She finally found a video simply titled "MLP:FIM Ep1". Intrigued, Trixie opened it, and was met with Twilight on a balloon descending from the sky, as the title sequence started. "What… is this?" Trixie questioned. She kept watching.

Gilda felt comfortable whenever she held the cube. As if nothing could go wrong, ever… She sighed in contentment, and continued solving the test.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – It will Never Threaten to Stab You**

Twilight didn't really understand why the team and her were building this 'gateway' to Earth. It was on Princess Celestia's strict orders, though, so she didn't mind. Josh had been acting strange lately. Were his conflicts with the ponies really resolved? Was Josh lonely? He would be, she reasoned. The only friends he had ever had had just died. Also, she wanted to talk to Trixie, and apologize. Even though she hadn't done anything really wrong, she had essentially ruined Trixie's livelihood. The portal itself was near finished, but Josh hadn't been seen. He had said something about going to find 'that griffin'. Apparently Gilda had fled into the bowels of the facility. Oh well, Twilight sighed. Back to work.

Gilda, meanwhile, was near finished with Test Chamber 17. She had just figured out the last puzzle, and hopped along the now raised platforms to the final chamber. A button was sitting in the middle of the chamber, and she placed the cube on it. It opened the door to a switch, and a curious, aperture-shaped circular thing was in the chamber outside it. Josh's recorded message once again piped up: "You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck!" His voice took on a sadistic tone. "However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test, and, unfortunately, must be euthanized. Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator." Gilda was horrified, and deep down she questioned why. It was just a cube, why was it so important to her? But another part of her refused to let her Companion Cube die.

Eventually, the incinerator side won out, and she pressed the switch. The round thing opened to reveal a pit of fire, from which the heat was coming off of in waves. Gilda, knowing the switch was timed from the ticking sound it was making, quickly grabbed the cube, and after a second's hesitation, dropped it in. The door opened, and Josh's prerecorded voice spoke again, this time smug. "You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any Test Subject on record. Congratulations." Gilda was close to tears over the loss of the beloved little thing. "Why?!" she shouted, then mentally slapped herself. Get a grip, Gilda! She chastised herself. It's a stupid cube! She still sniffled a little as she flew over to Josh, who was still laying against the wall. He lifted his head, and struggled to his feet as she approached. "I'm sorry," he said. "Why would you be sorry?" Gilda asked, though part of her already knew the answer. "No one should have to go through that. And in case you're wondering about the cube, we made it emit endorphins into the surrounding air whenever it was held. Those are the hormones that make you happy." Gilda was angered at the trick, but didn't blame Josh. It was just another test, she reasoned. A different kind of test, but still a test. Josh walked quickly, as if he just wanted to get out of this chamber, and Gilda felt the same way.

Josh was saddened. He felt selfish for allowing Gilda to go through the trauma of incinerating her first Companion Cube, and still felt as though he was dying. And he was, but it was slower. The blood was clotting, and soon he might be able to run again. His heart sank at the thought of Test Chamber 18, though. It was incredibly hard for someone with a fatal stomach injury to fall from the ceiling and still land just fine, even with the Long Fall Boots. Not only that, the extreme strain on his mind was taking its toll, and he thought he might be going into shock. He checked for symptoms: He felt numb. Not just physically, it was as if his mind had refused to accept the enormity of what he had to do, and had simply shut the part of his brain that would panic down. As they entered the chamber, Gilda noticed his distress and motioned for him to climb on her back. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Yes, just get on already. We don't do this for anyone," Gilda snapped impatiently, then felt remorse. No one should yell at something who's slowly dying, she thought, flying through the chamber. They flew up to a button. "We need this to get the next part open. The cube should be… there!" Josh said, pointing. Behind a panel was a room filled with five turrets, a High Energy Pellet launcher and a cube, sitting on a far corner. "Can this entire test be solved by flying?" Gilda asked. Josh nodded. "We should have a huge advantage here," he stated. Josh opened the panel with a switch, and Gilda carefully got the cube, leaving Josh back in the room, who kept the panel open. Finally, Gilda got the cube, bypassing the test entirely, and put it on the button, opening the next part.

Twilight, at this time, was getting somewhat worried. They had finished the portal gateway just minutes ago, and the scientists had left. Yet Josh was nowhere to be found… She decided to find the Main AI Chamber, and see what was going on. The facility's digital boards now had real-time maps of the floor you were on, and she saw that somepony or person was indeed present in the chamber. Setting off, she completely ignored the gateway, and why it was there.

Josh and Gilda, meanwhile, were at the end of Chamber 18, and entering 19. "This is it," Josh said. "The final test. It's short, but timed, so I won't be much help." Gilda took the ASHPD from him. "Just remember to fly back when you're done and grab me," Josh said as she took off into the chamber. Gilda nodded. She saw a ball launcher, catcher, and platform. "That's it?" she thought aloud. She quickly solved the bouncing test, and the platform left rapidly. Gilda caught up to it, and it went around the chamber she had been in, along with all sorts of timed minitests, from redirecting a green, invincible superball away from her so she wouldn't die, to avoiding two walls in the chamber, placed directly in her path. Finally, the chamber glided over some acid, and came to a door. The door was marked with a huge cake symbol, and Gilda remembered to get Josh. She flew all the way back, and Josh got on her back ("Yay! Free ride!"). They walked through the door, and there was no cake. Gilda looked at Josh. "What happened to the cake?" Josh laughed, then painfully clutched his stomach. "It's a bit of an Aperture joke… we lied about the cake to motivate Test Subjects. The real cake is served only to scientists and high-range test performers. Anyway, that door over there," he pointed to the door across the room, "leads back into the main labs, thank God." He went through the door, still shaky.

Josh could feel himself dying. So if he couldn't find a Vita-Chamber to revive himself from, or something similar, he was screwed. He looked at the lab area, and it appeared to be in the Biology department. He noticed a sign that said "Biotechnology", and motioned to the griffin. "We're making a bit of a detour," he explained as he headed into the lab. It was full of different, unused concoctions, with evidence of humans long gone. This part of the labs was covered in a layer of dust a full inch thick; neither Josh nor Gilda could step anywhere without leaving a mark. Finally, Josh found what he was looking for. It was a hypodermic syringe, filled with a milky white liquid. "Experimental Super Stem Cells" was written on the front. Josh, wincing from the pain, opened the wrappings he had made earlier, and squeezed the liquid in. Gilda was amazed to watch the wounds heal up immediately, the white liquid turning into flesh and blood. She looked at Josh, jaw dropped. Josh shrugged. "Science," he said. Feeling a lot better physically, but still mentally struggling, Josh walked out of the room, needing neither support nor help.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – The Truth**

Twilight walked into the AI chamber, and noticed a few things. One, the exposition of Aperture products was gone. Two, only the smaller AI was moving, and Twilight assumed that this was Josh in some sort of backup body. "Hello, Josh!" she loudly stated, and the body turned around and glared at her. A disdainful expression was on the single eye this body sported. "Oh, it's you," Trixie stated. Twilight started, this was a girl's voice. "Trixie?" she questioned. Trixie resisted the urge to attempt to bow in the suit. "It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being ruined. You know, after you DESTROYED MY CAREER?!" Twilight shrank in fear. Unlike Josh, Trixie knew exactly who she was dealing with, and obviously sported a massive grudge. "Listen Trixie…" Twilight began, but was cut off by Trixie.

"No, you listen! Do you have ANY IDEA what my life was like after that day?! I was chased after by people who I considered my fans. I had an angry mob on my tail for four and a half weeks straight!" Twilight gulped. "I finally came here, ready to die. And then, that human protected me. No one had ever stood up for me until that day. And besides, he LIKES my magic, and thinks my fireworks are more than just a show! So YOU can take your prissy little magical self out!" Trixie finished. Twilight didn't know what to say. "Trixie… is there any way I can make it up to you?" Twilight asked, sadly. Trixie was taken aback. She had expected her former enemy number one to run out of the room crying. "First," a voice from the far end said, "you could direct me to the nearest sledgehammer." It was Josh, furious and covered in blood.

"Josh! Where have you been?" was the first thing Trixie said. Josh glared at her. "The floor below. Did someone move a building over my only safe exit?" Trixie blushed visibly. Josh looked at Twilight, even more angry. "I read that article on your saving Ponyville. How could you do that, Twilight? You ruined her livelihood!" Twilight was backing away, scared. Now she had two homicidal, superpowered beings on her case. "I-I didn't mean it! I didn't even want to!" Twilight frantically said. Trixie looked at her. "What do you mean, you didn't want to? You looked like you loved it when you sent me packing!" Trixie angrily responded. Twilight lowered her head. "But I didn't! I didn't want to at all! I just wanted to not die from an Ursa Minor!" Trixie calmed slightly, but was still swinging around in her suit, agitated.

Josh was still angry, though. He could only think of anger right now, as that distracted him from his more pressing worries. Gilda came up behind him, and slapped him with a talon. Both Trixie and Twilight were shocked at the sudden violence. "Calm down, kid." Gilda muttered. "You're not the only one on edge here." Josh said nothing for a minute, and when he spoke next, his voice was much calmer. "Alright, fine. I'll put aside this issue for now, so can we concentrate on the important ones?" Trixie and Twilight enthusiastically nodded, each thanking their lucky stars that they had avoided Josh's wrath. "Good. First, Trixie, is the turret assembly line running?" Trixie nodded. "That was the room I moved over yours. Sorry…" Josh waved a hand, dismissing it. "Twilight, is the gateway finished?" Twilight nodded, and raised her hoof. "I have a question," she stated. "Why are we building this?" Josh frowned, and Twilight knew she'd asked the wrong question. Trixie nodded, as if she'd like to know herself. "To… put it bluntly… if we don't get me back to my universe, yours ends," Josh hesitantly said. Twilight took a bit to take this in. "Oh. Um… Excuse me while I go faint," Twilight said, and teleported to her room, where she subsequently fainted. "I swear, that happens half the time I tell anypony that," Josh muttered loudly. Gilda pointed an accusing claw at him. "Whadd'ya mean, the universe ends? Is your getting back home that important?" Josh nodded. "Basically. My world is tied to yours in a way I really shouldn't explain unless I have to, and my world just went through an apocalypse. I was sent here so I would be alive to fix this mess," he finished. Gilda nodded as if this made sense to her, which of course it didn't. Trixie appeared to be going through programs, and pulled out the show she was watching earlier. She opened the video, and the My Little Pony logo came on. Josh's jaw dropped. His mind had just kicked into overdrive. "Josh, what is this?" Trixie questioned. "From what I've heard, everything on this happened here. Is this some sort of secret recording?" Josh gulped audibly, and Gilda grew impatient.

"Well?" she said to him, expecting him to give some long explanation. "Well, I guess I have to explain," he said. Now both Trixie and Gilda were listening close. "So, how do I begin? First, do you know what a television is?" Both Gilda and Trixie nodded. "This world is a 'fictional' television show in my world, about 20 years in the future." Both Gilda and Trixie were stunned. "Please tell me they didn't get the time where I came to Ponyville on air?" both begged Josh. Josh lowered his head. "They did… for both of you," he said. "If you want to watch them, it's Season 1, Episodes 5 and 6 respectively. I don't want to be here when you do, so… I'm going to bed. I… need to cope." He left, leaving Trixie and Gilda alone in the AI chamber. Trixie brought up the episode list, then looked at Gilda. "So… who wants to go first?" she asked, ready to experience her nightmare. Gilda nodded her head, eyes full of determination. "I'll go first," she said. Trixie opened the episode, and they began watching.

Josh took out a small journal he carried. It was full of entries, and he had written in one journal or another since he started working at Aperture. He opened to a new page, and wrote "Date Unknown, Equestria, Sometime in the Day. I have so many problems to deal with. Number one, I absorbed what appeared to be magical energy from three different ponies, and turned it into Aperture-like technology. Two, I have to save every universe ever thought of by humans, ever. A daunting task, to say the freaking least. Last, I just started a WAR (he underlined this multiple times) between two nations, over my technology. What the hell am I even doing here? I should have died with my friends," He finished. "Granted, I really shouldn't even think of them until I can find a bloody therapist, but still." He continued writing. "But I have a few new ones. Trixie, who's a lot like me, and pretty good-looking (he blushed as he wrote this) too. Twilight, who's knowledgeable, but can be a bit naïve, and Fluttershy. Fluttershy is the single kindest thing I have ever met, and no wonder, apparently she's the magical Element of Kindness."

"Hah, magic – I still can't wrap my mind around it. One rule of science is that it cannot use the supernatural in its explanations, but here, not only is that a commonly used explanation, it's the only one that fits. I can, for all intents and purposes, use magic. From what I've done, I can determine a very few rules: The magic relates to your occupation. This I have seen in every pony since arriving here. Second, it may be just me, but humans may be able to absorb this magic, and combine it with their own to meld the two. This would explain why I grew wings, and I held what appeared to be a miniature sun. These are Fluttershy, Twilight, and the Princess Celestia's attributes, and they combined with mine, which appears to be Aperture Science itself. Funny, that – I'm so dedicated to this place I can manipulate it with my bare hands."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Truth and Murder**

Trixie and Gilda had just finished watching the last episode of the first season. It was early morning, and they had had a nonstop television spree all night, so both were exhausted. "That… was so weird!" Trixie exclaimed. Gilda nodded, still horrified. She had been an absolute JERK. And that was her only appearance! Trixie felt the exact same way, of course. They looked at eachother. "So, does this mean we're not real?" Trixie hesitantly asked. Gilda thought, but she was never much of a scientist. "I have no idea," she said, shrugging. "Let's go ask Josh, he would know."

Josh was asleep when the two entered his room. Trixie, feeling confident, poked him. Josh immediately sprang up, and jumped off the bed, did a backflip over their heads, and was about to run out of the room when Trixie calmly tripped him. Josh fell flat on his face, and stared about him. "Dammit, I keep forgetting I'm not in the old… Never mind," he muttered, sitting up. Gilda was chuckling. Trixie was used to this happening every night, and understood why. She'd be at her wits' end if she had to deal with the potential threat of neurotoxin at every possible moment. That, added to whatever Josh and Celestia had read, was slowly sapping his sanity. Celestia was a princess, and therefore a master of hiding her emotions, Trixie recalled, but Josh had had no such training. Still, what had he read? She suspected it had something to do with that show. "Oh! That's right!" She exclaimed aloud. Josh looked at her. She turned to him, an interrogative glint in her eye. Josh suspected he was about to get chewed out.

"Josh, are we… made-up?" Trixie hesitantly asked, surprising Josh. I guess she's less assertive than I thought, Josh noted to himself. "No… and yes," he responded, earning a glare from Gilda at the typical confusing answer. Josh, seeing this, went on to explain. "The fact that I am sitting here, in this universe, proves that you are very real. However, you are an imaginary construct in my world, in the form of a television show. So, you're both," Josh finished. A knock on the front door was heard (How the sound carried all the way back here, neither Gilda nor Trixie knew) and Josh sighed. "I should get this," he said, throwing on a labcoat and riding on a panel. He stepped off at the lobby, and opened the door. He was met with a battleaxe directly to his face. Josh looked up at the wound, almost bored. A griffin dressed in ninja clothes stood before him. Josh glared at him, and the griffin gulped.

"You are joking! You thought THIS would kill me? This, is, PATHETIC!" Josh yelled at him. He then reached down and grabbed the griffin by his neck, pulling the battleaxe out of his head. The griffin attempted to get free, but each time it nearly made it, the human would adjust its grip to make sure it wouldn't. The griffin began panicking as it was carried into the Enrichment Center. "No – please –" it choked out. Josh glared at him. "Son, you done incurred my WRATH." He shut the door behind him, leaving a second, hidden griffin spy to wonder what had just happened.

Josh went to a mainframe computer, and brought up a Relaxation Vault. He threw the griffin in the stasis pod, and went to the infirmary to patch himself up. Along the way, he met Trixie and Gilda walking down the hall contentedly, until they caught a sight of Josh's face. "What the – JOSH?!" Trixie screamed, horrified. Josh's head had a massive gash in it, running from his forehead all the way to the back of his skull. Josh sighed irritatedly. "Explanation later, painkillers NOW." He pushed both of them out of the way, which actually took effort due to his failing limbs and brain. Trixie and Gilda watched as he exited. "What is wrong with that guy?" Gilda wondered. Trixie, however, was angry. "I have no idea, but I'm going to PERSONALLY KILL the thing who did this to him," she violently exclaimed. Gilda looked at her quizzically.

Josh had just taken a lot of pills, and he was feeling pretty lucid. He slipped away into dreamland as the machines around him worked to restore his body to functioning order.

Josh woke up on a grassy meadow. "I must be dreaming," he muttered. Then, an alicorn came from nowhere and approached him. Josh let it approach, believing nothing could hurt him in his dreams. Then, a hoof shot out from the creature, and hit him in the face. Josh rubbed his stinging bruise, and the alicorn sized him up. It was a deep black, with blue armor, almost a counterpart to Celestia. "That's right," it spat at him. "This is much different than one of your puny dreams. This is MY world now," Nightmare Moon laughed. Josh stared at her. So, this was the Nightmare Moon he had read about. Whatever this thing was, it had apparently seized control of Luna, which explained the slight resemblance. Josh raised an eyebrow. Nightmare Moon was clearly expecting something.

What she wasn't expecting, however, was Josh's fist smashing into her pony face. Josh felt good when he did that. "Get the hell out, demon," was the first thing he said to Moon. "I'm not your regular sunshine and happiness pony. Get out, or you die," he glared at her. Moon laughed. "You nearly died just then, and still you resist me. What are you, some kind of machine?" Josh could've laughed, but he chose to look serious. "I am a robot. My foot will now transform into a foot. With YOUR ASS wrapped around it." Josh raised said foot and kicked her in the stomach. Moon staggered back, then ran away, as the entire world around the two collapsed. Josh thought of what to say. "AND DON'T COME BACK, YOU MISERABLE ABOMINATION!" he yelled after her.

Josh woke up, and felt a little disoriented. He checked the screen in front of him, and was relieved to find that his skull and brain were completely healed. He swung off the bed, and put the bloodied sheets into a nearby washing machine, then started off towards the Central AI Chamber, where he presumed Trixie to be. As soon as he entered, a blue blur knocked him over and hugged him tight. "You're okay!" Trixie shouted. Josh laughed and pushed her off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Man, I feel tired, though. That fight with that demon pony just added to that." Trixie looked at him. "Demon pony?" Josh thought for a bit. "You would probably know her as… Nightmare… Nightmare Moon, that's it." Trixie looked at him as though she didn't understand why he was still breathing. "You fought Nightmare Moon? How are you still alive?" Josh shrugged. "Pff, she wasn't that strong. Just a few good kicks to the face sent her running." Trixie's jaw dropped. With no magic, just brute force, this human had brought down one of the most dangerous ponies out there. In his dreams.

**A/N: Nightmare Moon makes a cameo! Don't worry, she'll come back. Eventually. In the meantime, review!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – Another Test Subject**

"What is up with you humans?" she asked. Josh shrugged again. "Er… we're bigger?" He passed the AI chamber, and headed toward a room near the employee dorms. Trixie hadn't been down this corridor, so she was a bit interested. Josh opened the door at the end of the hallway, and was met with a kitchen. "Ah, perfect," Josh said, brightening. He got an apron and gloves, and brought out a few ingredients from a pantry. Trixie looked at him. "You cook?" Josh grinned. "Plenty," he said. Trixie checked the pantry. "I thought you humans ate meat, from the history logs. But there's no meat in here…" Josh frowned.

"I'm a vegetarian. So, I took all the meat that was in there and incinerated it." Trixie nodded. Nice to know she wouldn't have to put up with his diet. "So, how long have you known this was here?" she asked him, as he started making a stew. "What do you think I've been eating this whole time?" Josh answered. Trixie looked at what he was making. It smelled delicious. Josh noticed her, and explained. "This is an old Aperture recipe. Every year, we get tons of leftover potatoes from when our kids bring potato batteries on Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, so we invented this to use all that potato." Trixie nodded. Gilda walked in, and noticed the stew. "Something smells good in here," she grinned, looking hungrily towards the stew. "Yep, I thought I'd eat something before torturing an axe murderer," Josh remarked offhandedly. Both Trixie and Gilda looked at him, and Josh sighed, telling the story.

"And that's what happened." Josh finished, as he ladled the stew into bowls. He'd added the bit with Nightmare Moon in, so Gilda would be kept up to speed. Gilda eagerly started sipping, while Trixie drank hers slowly, savoring the taste. "You make a good stew," she remarked. Josh bowed, grinning. Then he frowned, and looked at Gilda. "You don't mind if I murder that assassin, do you?" he asked her. Gilda spat out a mouthful of soup. "Mind?! Of course I mind, he's one of my race!" Gilda exclaimed. Josh sighed. "Well, he did attempt to kill me. Trixie, you know Equestrian law: What's the common verdict for attempted murder?" Trixie didn't even have to think of this one, every Equestrian citizen knew it. "The punishment for attempted, but incomplete murder is a lifetime in prison." Josh nodded, he had figured that. "Okay, that's not going to work for me. Seeing as Aperture is effectively its own nation, though an island of Equestria, why don't we make a few rules?" Trixie grinned and nodded.

Josh thought. "For attempted murder of an employee, the punishment is… Testing Course – Medium Difficulty," he decided. Trixie burst out laughing. "Oh, dear, that griffin is in for it," she spluttered. Gilda was confused. "Medium?" she asked. "Is that the one we did?" Josh laughed along with Trixie. "No, Gilda, that was the Easy testing course," he answered. Gilda couldn't believe what she was hearing. These tests were harder than the tests she had gone through with Josh? Josh went over to the Central AI chamber, and plugged himself in. The other two were finished with the soup by now, so they tagged along as well.

Typhin woke up, groaning. Where was he? And where was his battleaxe? All he remembered was trying to get rid of that 'human,' and being humiliated. He looked around, and found a small, pod-like thing with two gas canisters attached that said "Oxygen". Other objects around the room were a hemispherical device that played music, some sort of futuristic table, and a clipboard. Typhin picked up the clipboard and read it. It was 'a list of hazards commonly associated with testing' The list was huge. He looked at the walls, which were made of glass. He was in a glass room inside another room with a circular door, and a camera like that on the front door was staring at him. Just then, an intercom sounded from nowhere.

"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computerated Equestrian Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the Relaxation Vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the tests proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun, and learning are the primary goals of all Enrichment Center activities, serious injuries will occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from ~por favor de donde estamos fallar muchas gracias ~ Stand back. The portal will open in three. Two. One." A ring of fire, like that described by those who had seen the portals, opened directly in front of Typhin's face, sending him tripping backwards.

He examined the ring. So this was the magical 'portal'. Where did it lead? He could see himself staring at the portal through it, which was a really strange perspective. He looked to his right, and saw a blue ring and himself again. He stepped through the orange portal, and just as he had heard, stepped out of the blue one. Typhin was now thoroughly scared, as he knew he was in the Test Chambers, those legendary rooms where no being, Equestrian or not, could safely enter and exit. "F$%K!" he screamed.

"My, such rude language," Trixie noted. Gilda looked at Josh, who was in his LaECOS body and overseeing the entire spectacle, and doing quantum physics on his other three screens on top of that. "Okay, what's with the different language?" LaECOS, turning off the intercom, laughed. "I was about to give a safety warning, but an old joke with our scientists is to confuse the Test Subjects as much as possible." Gilda snickered a bit.

Typhin went through the circular door, and came to a room with a small, decorated box and what appeared to be a giant button. He decided to study the box first. It had decorated edges and corners, and a gray Aperture logo inside a blue circle. All six sides were exactly alike. The button was decorated with lighted signs and wires. One of them depicted the box falling onto the button. "What the hell kind of test is this?" Typhin grumbled. He dropped the box onto the button, and the box's blue ring turned yellow. A door opened behind him, and he spun around to see a smaller room, which led to an elevator. "Excellent," LaECOS spoke, making him jump. "Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test!" Typhin proudly did so. "First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit." Typhin jumped back, he had been about to go through that thing. He studied the energy field. "This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it – For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube." Typhin approached the thing more apprehensively. "So, will it emancipate me?" he asked. There was no answer, so he cautiously stepped through. Nothing happened except for a slight tingle on his feathers. The elevator quickly went down, and came to a new room which had a sign saying "01" in large letters.

"So wait, these are the tests we did," Gilda called up to LaECOS. LaECOS turned off the intercom and answered. "This is the preliminary phase until he gets the ASHPD. Then the real testing begins."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 – Just Waiting**

LaECOS was about to monitor the next test when he heard a massive slam on the door. Josh sighed, and disconnected from the suit, and stared at Trixie. Trixie had a sharp glint in her eyes, and stepped into her smaller mechanical body. Josh, meanwhile, grabbed a sledgehammer and went to answer the door. Opening it, he was about to swing the hammer when he saw Derpy, dizzily laying on the ground, letters scattered all around. Judging from the dirt trail, she had crashed some distance before. "Hello!" he said, as Derpy got up and brushed herself up. "I brought you a letter!" she said. Josh thanked her, helped pick up the scattered letters, and sent her on her way. He looked at the letter, seeing an Equestrian signature. "How strange, I'm illiterate," Josh joked aloud as he made his way back through the lobby and to the Central AI Chamber. Trixie was overseeing testing, but could Gilda read Equestrian? He handed the letter to Gilda, who read it and paled. "What? Who's it from?" Josh asked, concerned. "It's from… Princess Celestia," Gilda replied shakingly. Josh shrugged. "Oh, her. Okay then," he said, nonchalantly opening up the letter. "Dear Josh, this letter was written in your language, to avoid it getting to the wrong hands," Josh read aloud.

"The time has almost come to return to your Earth, and I will send along Twilight Sparkle to assist you, as well as a pony of your choice," Josh continued. "The three of you will embark tomorrow. Yours faithfully, Princess Celestia." Josh reread the last sentence. "Tomorrow?! Damn, she's impatient. Who to choose… Can't be Trixie, somepony has to run the Enrichment Center here while I'm gone… er… well, who would come in handy? It would have to be somepony able to keep up… Ah! Got it!" Josh brightened. Gilda looked at him. "Well, who'd you choose?" Josh grinned. "The only pony in Equestria who can break the sound barrier. Rainbow Dash!" Gilda sighed. Rainbow got all the fun. Meanwhile, Josh had run off to pack.

Twilight had received a similar letter, and was stoked as well. An entire new planet to learn about! She could hardly wait, and had closed down the entire library to get ready. Rushing around, she packed quills and paper, until Spike had finally told her to pack something useful. They didn't know where they would end up, and if they ended up in the original Enrichment Center, things could get very bad, very fast. The turret at Fluttershy's house was proof enough of that. She thought for a half second: What would come in useful on Earth? The history book, she decided. She threw it in a small bag, along with some spellbooks, and only put a few sheets of paper and just one quill. Twilight looked at the small bag, and sighed. It wouldn't nearly be enough to satisfy her curiosity, but it would have to do.

Meanwhile, Josh decided to go to Rainbow Dash's house. Watching the show, he determined its location, and had strapped on the Gel Boots. Finding the elegantly shaped cloud, he activated the Repulsion Gel, and bounced up, landing on the very edge of the cloud. He almost knocked on the door, but remembered that he would have broken it. "Hello?" he called. A thunderbolt erupted directly behind him, and he jumped. Rainbow, who was above a stormcloud, began laughing at him. "Heh, nice one," Josh complimented. Rainbow Dash looked at him. "Darn, most ponies get the hiccups," she said, disappointed. Josh shrugged. "Anyway, want to go to Earth?" Rainbow's eyes lit up. "As in, new ponies to impress?" Josh nodded, choosing not to correct that they were 'people'. He then explained the letter, the portal, and his choice of her. "Yeah, I'll go! Where are we appearing on Earth?" Josh halfheartedly laughed. "Er… Aperture?" Rainbow paled. "As in, the Aperture with the AI who's even more murderous than you, those death traps called Test Chambers, and no escape?" Josh pretended to think. "Yeah, that one," he said. "Scared?" Rainbow stubbornly shook her head. "I said I would go, and I'm going! When do we leave?" Josh grinned, glad that Rainbow had taken the bait. "Tomorrow," he said. "Meet you at noon!" He jumped off the cloud, leaving a very nervous cyan pony. What had she gotten herself into?

Trixie was depressed. She had overseen the entire thing, and was disappointed that Josh had not chosen her, although he did make a fair point. So, when Josh arrived at the Chamber, she made sure to look extra forlorn. Meanwhile, Gilda was still hiding inside the center to avoid ponies and griffins alike. Josh finally looked at her and sighed. "Okay, what's up?" he asked. Trixie looked back at him, and asked "Why wouldn't you take me to Earth?" Josh knew this had been coming. "I didn't choose you because somepony needs to run the Enrichment Center, and you're the only pony smart enough to do the job. I don't trust anyone else to do this, okay?" Trixie muttered something. Josh raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, can't hear you." Trixie glared at him. "I want to go! Every time, Twilight Sparkle gets the great adventures, and I, Trixie, am stuck with menial tasks! Why can't I get a chance at glory for once?" Josh groaned on the inside. "If you can find somepony who's able to oversee the Enrichment Center, then you can go too. Sound fair?" Trixie eagerly nodded, and rushed off. She only had a day, after all.

The preparations had been made, and everypony was ready except for Trixie, who was unable to find anypony willing to carry out the task of overseeing the Enrichment Center. Most had been tempted, but turned away at the thought of the hazards present in the inner Center. Trixie was about ready to give up, as it was nearly nine in the night. The moon had been raised some time before, and she was heading back to the Center, dejected, when a voice boomed on her right. "We heard you were looking for a temporary manager!" Luna shouted, the royal Canterlot voice in full effect. Trixie cringed, and bowed. "Princess Luna, I… didn't expect you. I don't suppose you're interested? You have royal duties, after all?" Luna smiled, and nodded. "We would indeed! My royal sister can take care of the sun and moon for a few days, and she trusts me to oversee the 'Enrichment Center' while your master is away!" she yelled, though she was only a few feet away from Trixie. "Er… thanks. Could you drop the voice, please?" Trixie squeaked, cowering in fear. Luna sighed. "Oh, fine," she said, her normal voice resuming. "It's a bit hard to break the habit. Anyway, yes, I'm interested. Where is Josh?" she asked. Trixie smiled. "I was just walking to the Center, would you like to follow?" Trixie inquired. Luna was about to object that she was supposed to lead, not follow, but decided against it, and nodded.

Josh was overseeing Typhin the griffin's testing once again. The sport had just gotten the fully powered Portal Gun, and he was making an announcement. "Congratulations. From this point forward, the preliminary testing is done, and the REAL tests will begin," he stated, with a hint of anticipation. Typhin gulped. Meanwhile, Josh grinned. He might have not wanted to test at first, but it was a habit he couldn't get rid of now. Then again, he did have to leave. Maybe he'd test some more after he'd saved the universe.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 – In Which Nothing Happens. At all.**

Typhin advanced into the next Test Chamber, but was accosted by panels. "For these tests, to make them somewhat fair, you are no longer allowed to use your wings. Good luck!" Josh warned over the intercom. Typhin grumbled and resisted as the robotic arms elegantly tied his wings up with gauze, eventually forming a neat little bow on the back. "Don't you look cute, with that little bow," Josh mocked him. Typhin looked absolutely furious. "Oh, don't worry. We made it so you can't remove it, no matter how hard you try. Concentrate on this next test. It involves deadly lasers, and how our subjects react when locked in a room, with deadly lasers." Typhin rolled his eyes. He picked up his Portal Gun, and went into the room. Once inside, a thick red laser began to emit from a black spinning ring inside a box on the ceiling. Typhin had some idea of how to use portals, so he shot one at the spot where the laser was. Then he looked at a second, near-identical black box on the floor.

Carefully aiming, he shot a portal directly above it. The door on a ledge opened, and Typhin attempted to fly up to it, before forgetting he couldn't use his wings. The platform that took him up was now up there, and he couldn't reach it. "Dammit, tell me the answer," he shouted at the camera. "Oh, come on, this is the easiest test in the track! How can you be confused by this?" The camera mockingly answered, much to his surprise. Typhin shot a portal at it, and it disconnected, sparking as it fell to the floor. "Ha!" Typhin exclaimed, proud at defeating the technology. Then, he heard the sound of the platform hitting the floor. He looked over, and it had fallen to floor level. He ran onto it, as he figured out the solution. He shot his next portal back at the spot on the ceiling, and the platform rose, the door now open again. "Average speed," LaECOS remarked, infuriating him. "Continue testing!" Typhin grudgingly stepped inside the elevator, which dropped downwards.

Trixie was ecstatic. From her conversations with Princess Luna, she knew Luna was very lonely and needed some friends, and she figured Luna would do a good job at overseeing an Enrichment Center. Luna, meanwhile, was apprehensive. Sure, she'd get a lot of news media on her tail at running the legendary Enrichment Center, but was she up for it? Luna had not attended the expo, instead running the castle while her sister was away. Therefore, she had no idea of the technology that lay inside, except for what everypony knew about before the expo; turrets, the Portal Device, the Aerial Faith Plate (which she'd used; with fun results), and the boots that Josh never left his home without. But according to some of the guards, there was a lot more in there, things that Equestria could use to win wars at the touch of a button.

Gilda, meanwhile, was admiring some of the labs that lay scattered around the Enrichment Center. In one, robotic arms were adding compounds to solutions, boiling them down, pouring powders and liquids into containers, and shipping them off. Gilda took one off of the line and read it. "Great and Powerful Fireworks – Potassium Permanganate" she read on the bottle. What did it do? She flipped it over. "Instructions – Add to glycerin to make extremely exothermic reaction, heat alone to make pure oxygen" she read. "Precautions – Powerful oxidizer. DO NOT INGEST." Gilda didn't understand half of it, but knew that it was explosive, and carefully put it back. What else did Aperture make? She noticed a lab that said "Warning – Radioactive Hazard – Wear an HEV Suit before entering" Gilda opened the door, and stepped inside. "Warning: No HEV Suit fits you. Calibrating…" Gilda watched as parts were made, orange and black. They were assembled into a griffin-shaped suit, which reminded her of griffin armor. She shrugged, and put it on. It immediately started spewing out its details from hidden speakers, which Gilda ignored. She put on the helmet, and stepped into the next chamber. She looked around. Funny, she thought. I don't see any green glow. Fume hoods were placed on all the walls, each one labeled with a different radioactive element. It was all very clean, but Gilda wondered what they did with these massive amounts of radioactive metal. She looked to the right, and another shipping line was visible. The labels on these were much simpler, saying either "to ASHPD manufacture" or "to radiochemical storage" in large black letters. She decided to follow both lines, and see where they went.

LaECOS knew that once he left, a few would be sad to see him go. Presumably, these included Twilight's friends. According to the calendar here, Christmas was tomorrow. But what to give them? LaECOS finally came up with an answer: He'd give them all something from Aperture. It was only fair, because now that ponies could buy the stuff, research labs had been ordering nonstop. Fortunately, Josh had lauched a portal-shooting satellite into space yesterday so that delivery was almost instant. Derpy had also helped with some of the local deliveries. So, time to get started. First, for Rainbow Dash. Josh had a feeling that Trixie had indeed come up with somepony to replace her while the two were away, so he'd have to give Rainbow some sort of consolation anyway. LaECOS decided what he should give, and got to work, all the while keeping an eye on Typhin.

Luna arrived back at the now somewhat familiar Enrichment Center, it's stark white walls a huge contrast to the dark forest that surrounded them. This place never fails to creep me out, Luna thought to herself. She and Trixie went inside, and the usual bright white lighting was present, even though it was night. "So, I get to be in a metal suit?" Luna asked Trixie, who nodded. LaECOS, noticing them, piped in on the intercom. "Oh hi, Princess Luna. I'm going to take a guess and say that you're Trixie's replacement?" Luna silently nodded. A door opened by itself, with a long hallway leading to the Central AI Chamber. "In that case, Trixie, why don't you let Rainbow Dash know she's off the hook? I'm sure she'll be glad," LaECOS mentioned offhandedly. "I'll walk Luna through the AI instructions." Trixie ran out the front door, laughing all the way. Luna looked up at the camera, which was as per usual staring at her. "Say, you don't happen to have that portal gun, do you?" she inquired. "Yes… why?" LaECOS cautiously answered. "I was wondering if I could see it and study it," she replied. LaECOS thought for a bit. "Well, right now it's being used by a Test Subject," he answered, "and he's a bit of a long story. Why don't you fly or teleport to the central chamber, and I'll tell you about it." Luna nodded, and began regally walking down the hallway.

**A/N: SO MUCH FILLER. Really, I promise the next few chapters will pick up the action a bit more. Anyway, feel free to review, so we can see LunECOS in the next chapter.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 – The Departure**

"And that's what I did this morning," LaECOS finished, chuckling slightly. Luna nodded, attentively listening. After all, it would soon be her duty to test this griffin. "So, about that body. I've modified Trixie's version to support a pony of your size, as well as a customizable paint job." He slid the new body out from a hole in the ceiling. It had the same color scheme as Luna herself, with deep blue armor on top of a dark purple main body, compared to the white-armor, black-body color scheme LaECOS sported. Luna admired it from all sides, and the side of the body opened, revealing a space that she could get in from. Luna was about to enter, but was stopped by LaECOS. "Most ponies have a chance of going insane when they enter, due to the sensory overload on their brains. Now, you could probably stand it, but I'm taking no chances here." A screen was lowered from its attachment to Luna's suit, and it turned on. "This is the walkthrough on how to not go insane. I'll leave you to watch it, and when you're done, you can try the suit out. Fair enough?" Luna nodded, eager to learn. "Good. I'll leave you to it," Josh said as he exited his own suit. The movie started playing, and Luna's attention snapped towards it. Josh chuckled as he left the room. She might make for a good overseer after all.

Trixie was hurriedly packing her few possessions, deciding what to bring. She remembered Josh's warnings on the subject. "If there is a Resonance Cascade, we'll probably be dealing with very hostile creatures when we get to the surface, if not sooner," he had said. There had also been warnings about GLaDOS herself, but Josh remembered Doug showing him some areas that even she had no eyes or ears in. They would just have to stay alive long enough to reach the surface, and they'd figure out a plan from there.

Finally, everyone was packed and ready. Trixie was practically bouncing with excitement, Josh seemed bored but somewhat tense, and Twilight's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, ready to take in a whole new overload of sensory information. The portal opened, and it was stable, much to Josh's relief. The others stared at the swirling blue vortex, only somewhat reminiscent of the portals Aperture was so fond of. Josh stepped in, and was immediately greeted by nostalgia: the lab was exactly the same as it was when he left, except no scientists were present. "Well, it looks saf-" Josh called back to the others, but was interrupted by a huge explosion, knocking him out cold. Twilight and Trixie looked at each other. "Josh!" they both yelled, entering the portal. The three's combined weight was too much for the recently weakened panels, and they gave away, leaving the three to plummet into the depths of the facility.

Josh woke up, feeling weightless. "You're awake!" Twilight exclaimed from his right. "Get us out of here!" Trixie commanded from his left. Josh was still in a daze from the explosion, but his subconscious knew that if he didn't do something fast, two ponies would be pancakes when they landed. He had Long Fall Boots, and this was possibly their ultimate test. They continued to fall through the depths of the facility, and Josh watched the markers pass by them. "Thirty thousand feet. So, the salt mine is thirty-six thousand, which means… LANDING TIME!" Josh yelled, scooping the others up in a bear hug. "What the-" Trixie began, but was quickly silenced as they landed, a massive earthquake of a hit to the floor. Once everything had stopped shaking, Josh let go of the two. "Thanks," Twilight mentioned to him. Josh nodded. "Holy Celestia… what is this place?" Trixie exclaimed, looking around. Josh took a bit to look around. They were at the very bottom, thirty-six thousand feet below ground. "Welcome, gentleponies, to Old Aperture," Josh replied, pretending to be an announcer. Twilight looked at him as though he was crazy. "I'm serious. This is Aperture from Cave Johnson's time." Trixie was still looking around, wide-eyed. "Now, if we can just find Cave's office, it should tell us what to do next." Josh mentioned. He set off towards the office complexes, which fortunately were not as decrepit as the Enrichment Spheres Josh had seen outside.

Luna was testing Typhin, after a formal introduction. "Look at you, sailing through the air, majestically. Like a griffin. Piloting an exploding blimp." Typhin blushed. He had known about that attack, but didn't think Aperture would blame him. Also, he was fairly sure she had just called him fat. "So, Princess, is this all you get to do under that tyrant Celestia?" he responded. Luna was furious. Why did so many call her sister a tyrant? The two worked perfectly fine together! Calm, she thought, calm yourself. No answer would be necessary to this, as it would only prove his point.

The offices were exactly as their former occupants had left them: Messy and cluttered. "Seeing as this is Aperture from the 1960's, I figure I might as well give you a history of the technology at this point," Josh mentioned, checking some things out for himself. "Over there is a typewriter, our earlier version of the computer. Go ahead, try one out." Twilight rushed over to a typewriter, and began using magic to press keys. Eventually, she had something typed out, and she stored it in her saddlebag.

Luna was still getting used to being a giant robot hanging from the ceiling. New upgrades by Josh provided some freedom of movement, especially for the wings and waist. Antigravity inside the helmet kept the blood from rushing to her head. Luna watched the production line; she had turned it to 'automatic' hours before. Turrets were rapidly being produced, boxed, and shipped directly to Canterlot through a portal. Deadly explosives and chemicals followed into a separate portal. Luna was taking notes, as from what Josh had said, this technology was 'about three hundred years ahead of our time, which is in turn two or three hundred years ahead of yours'. As far as Luna had heard (she had a guard give her news every day), the war was going fairly well; initial efforts by the griffins to invade the border of Equestria had failed. That didn't stop the turret production, and some were being used on the field already, to devastating effect. To prevent killing, all the turrets' bullets had been replaced with tranquilizers. Knocked out griffins were brought to an Aerial Faith Plate nearby, and catapulted back into their land. This way, the war could be fought effectively, with no casualties. After all, Equestrians prided themselves on love and toleration, which killing did not fit with.

**A/N: Expect this story to wrap up relatively soon.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 – What Really Happened**

"You know, I remember how this whole thing started," Josh remarked as they picked their way through vitrified Test Chambers and decaying offices. According to dates on papers and signs on walls, they were now in the Aperture Science of the 1980's. "Didn't you just come here through a portal or something?" Trixie asked. Josh nodded. "More or less. What's funny is that Cave mentioned that you ponies contacted him, not the other way around." Twilight and Trixie looked at him funny. "Nopony here remembered humans even existed," Twilight said, shaking her head. "How would we contact you?" Josh shrugged.

"Anyway, there was a time skip and it was sent back in time to Cave, but it included very precise instructions on how I would go about getting to Equestria. It also included the date and time I'd be reading the message - October 26, 2011 at 9:21 AM. This was true." Twilight stored the information in her head for later use. Trixie was intrigued, but confused. Time skip? Message? Josh looked up, and just barely spotted a panel, far up ahead. He stopped, pulled out the ASHPD, and took aim, firing right on target. He opened a portal on a nearby wall, and looked through. The portal he had fired was currently sitting a few feet off the wall of a large chamber, next to an elevator. Josh pumped a fist, this was the Labs Elevator! "If this old thing still works, we get a free ride all the way back up into the current Aperture Science," he said delightedly. He hopped through, the two unicorns close behind, and pressed the yellow button. The elevator slowly began rising, and the three cheered.

The elevator stopped near a small door, which had a keypad. "1-4-6-7-8," Josh typed in, and the door opened on its own. They were met with the clean, sterile, white labs that were commonplace in Equestria's Enrichment Center. "Alright!" Josh exclaimed. He strode through, checking signs on doors, until he came to the next room. It was the hallway to GLaDOS's chamber, and it was severly tilted. "What… the… " Josh muttered. He walked down the hallway, forgetting to find a respirator. The door opened, and what he saw shocked him speechless. The two ponies couldn't believe their eyes either.

GLaDOS lay in ruins, parts of her remade, parts missing altogether. A Party Escort Bot, its purple eye spinning around somewhat crazily, was dragging one of GLaDOS's parts in, attaching it to the body. It noticed them, and began to drag itself towards them menacingly. "W-What is that thing?" Trixie squeaked, hiding behind Josh. Josh walked behind it, and shut it off with the small switch on its back. "Party Escort Bot, used to escort Test Subjects to their parties after they completed their tests. Looks reprogrammed, probably by a professional. Maybe even by GLaDOS herself." Twilight looked at the massive Genetic Lifeform, its size daunting that of LaECOS easily. It's yellow eye was flickering on and off, and Twilight looked nervously at it every time it flickered on. "Don't worry. If she hasn't tried to kill us yet, she's definitely dead. Who did this, anyway?" he said, appraising the damage of his finest creation. It looked like rockets had hit it, and a Rocket Turret was indeed deployed, and dead on the floor as well. All of the cores were missing, but a core port that hadn't been used the last time Josh checked was bent. "Someone see if the computer in the lobby is still functional. We can use that to figure out what happened through a video recording."

Twilight confirmed that the computer was working, albeit somewhat slow, and Josh logged in to the recent footage. He stuck a thumb drive in, recording some of his own wireless instructions. A Test Subject, number 1498 – Chell [REDACTED] by the looks of it, walked into the room, ASHPD of her own in hand. "How did she get here? Her assigned set of chambers is far from this place," Josh wondered out loud. The two ponies shushed him. The girl stood before GLaDOS, as she attempted to exchange a final conversation, but Chell was stubbornly refusing to reply. Josh noticed a purple-eyed Core on the bent port from earlier. Purple, purple, purple… he wondered. Then it came to him. Doug had once told him of the failsafe 'Morality Core' he and Henry had built, and judging from the looks, this must have been it. The Morality Core detached from GLaDOS somehow, falling to the floor. Josh looked nervous, but reassured himself. "As long as it's not incinerated, the girl should be fine." Chell promptly incinerated it, and Josh immediately swore. GLaDOS, free of her restraint, started flooding the room with neurotoxin, and the Rocket Turret was activated.

Josh, Twilight and Trixie looked on as the girl used portals to cleverly deflect the rockets onto GLaDOS herself, detaching a Core, and incinerating it. This girl was a genius, Josh realized. Every scientist knew that if GLaDOS managed to detach all of her Cores, her portal generator used to assist Test Subjects had a 40% chance of going critical, and this took the form of a superportal on the ceiling. Chell's ASHPD accidentally fell into the now-inactive incinerator at this point, and was spirited away by the system. The last bit of footage was GLaDOS's detached head looking directly at Chell, who was being pulled away by the Party Escort Bot, and faded to black. The three stared at the black screen in silence. "Well, that explains that," Josh finally said. He was part furious at the wanton destruction of one of his favorite creations, part relieved that GLaDOS was finally no longer a threat, and part apprehensive at what this could mean for Aperture.

"What do we do now?" Twilight asked, as they looked around. It was clear that they were still quite a ways underground, though Josh could make out some sunlight looking at the top of the chamber. He led them to a panel past the incinerator, which had a tiny, unnoticeable lock. Josh took out a key from his labcoat pocket, and inserted it, twisting all the way around until the panel awakened. It moved out of the way, allowing them to access a set of stairs. "Alright, down these stairs," Josh instructed, moving at a brisk pace. The staircase was huge, but they reached the bottom shortly. Josh led them to the main breaker room, and searched the room. "This escape pod can only be used once," he said to the others. "If that Test Subject reawakens, she won't be able to use this." The other two nodded, looking somewhat guilty. He flipped the switch, and it sank back into the wall, a small black panel taking its place. Trixie could hear something taking place in the main chamber, and they traipsed back up the stairs to check it out, though Josh already knew what it was.

A small pod was sitting next to GLaDOS, and the robotic arm that had carried it in was already gone as they reached the room. The panel with the lock slid shut, and Josh retrieved his key. They climbed in, with barely enough room to fit, and the door slid shut. "Launch commencing in three, two, one." The Announcer said smoothly, as small rockets activated under the pod, and blasted them out of the facility. Trixie looked at Josh, and was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Goodbye, Cave," he whispered. Aperture was dead, and he mourned its loss like a son might a father. The pod continued up, through the endless chambers of white and black and blue, and light was visible up ahead.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 – Off to Sunny L.A.!**

The small pod finally shot up through a roof, landing in a cornfield. "Ah, I remember this," Josh said. "This is one of the two entrances Aperture has from the surface." Trixie looked around, eyes adjusting to the harsh sun, when something made a skittering noise from behind them. Josh paled, as a small tan blob with four pincers, rather like a crab, attempted to attach to his head. There was a loud bang, and Twilight and Trixie used magic to cover their eyes and ears, and the creature squealed as it died. When they looked back, Josh was holding a smoking shotgun. "So Cave was right," he said, heart sinking. "The invasion of Earth by Xen has begun."

Twilight looked at him, and he explained. "-Anyway, we like to call those 'headcrabs', he said, motioning to the dead creature. "If they manage to attach to you, you will turn into basically a zombie." Twilight and Trixie were spooked by this, and they shuffled nervously. "Don't worry. You have magic. I, on the other hand," he remarked, reloading the shotgun, "don't." Twilight looked at Trixie, and then cast a spell with her horn, illuminating Josh's head. "Well, that felt weird," Josh said after the procedure was done. "What was that, anyway?" Twilight smiled. "It'll keep any…thing from touching your head." Josh thanked her, and they continued through the cornfield.

Finally, they came to another small shack, this one having bays instead of rooms. Josh took out his Aperture key, and opened one, revealing a small minivan, with the Aperture Laboratories logo on its side. "I'm typically not allowed to use this, but everyone who could reprimand me for it is dead," he darkly said. "…What is it?" Trixie asked. Josh gestured. "Our version of your carriage, called a car. It runs on a combustion engine, no hard work needed." He climbed into the driver's seat, and Twilight and Trixie sat (albeit somewhat uncomfortably, as the car was not designed for ponies) in the back seats. Luckily, the back of the bay opened to reveal a usable road, and Josh started driving, the two ponies lurching as the car moved forward. They could see a city in the distance. "That's Detroit," Josh said, noticing the other two's looks. "So modern… and huge!" Twilight gasped, eyes like dinner plates. "What are those tall rectangular things?" Trixie said, pointing to one. "Office buildings," Josh said. "Like our offices, but aboveground, instead of in a salt mine."

As Josh drove, he realized he had no plan for saving the entire universe. Still, he had a rudimentary idea of what he should do next. Wherever My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic was produced would be the primary source of data and information about the universe itself, so he just had to find that. Consulting his memory from when he was LaECOS, and had full access to the wealth of information, the episodes were made by Hasbro Studios, Inc, which was located in Los Angeles, California. They were a long way from California… "Judging by the distance from here to the place we need to get, we're going to need something faster," Josh remarked out loud. He made his way to the Detroit Airport.

As they walked in through the doors, they were immediately assaulted by a headcrab zombie. Twilight screamed, and Trixie hid behind Josh, who shoved it back, whipped out his shotgun, and shot it until it gurgled and died. "Frickin zombies, never know where they're gonna pop up next," Josh muttered. Then he motioned to the others. "If there's one headcrab around here, there's more," he said. "These things breed like bacteria." They continued on until they found a dock entrance opening into the air, with a plane nearby. "Alright, now we just have to get in," Josh said. He opened the hatch underneath the plane, with Twilight and Trixie still wondering what the thing was. "What is this thing, now?" Trixie questioned. "It's a plane. Think of it as a giant metal bird," he said. They climbed up through the baggage compartment into the main part of the plane, and Josh went straight to the front, Twilight and Trixie close behind. Josh surveyed the controls. All Aperture employees were taught how to fly a plane, as part of the Human Intelligence Initiative which required Aperture employees to learn as many useful things as they could, but learning how to fly a plane was slightly different from flying one. "Alright, let's see…" Josh started flipping switches, and eventually got the plane to take off (after much screaming from all three of them). "We're flying!" Trixie exclaimed, looking out a window. "Get comfy, this could take a few hours."

It was night by the time they arrived in California, and they were hovering over a swarm of zombies. Two men dressed in army camouflage were trying to shoot them, without much luck. Josh grabbed a shotgun and strapped on his boots, leaving Trixie with the plane. "But how do I fly this thing?" Trixie yelled after him. "Use that joystick. Or magic, doesn't really matter as long as you're alive! Er, also, don't let these guys see you as ponies!" Josh said, jumping out the plane. He freefell through the air, and landed right on top of a zombie, crushing it completely. "Damn, that's gonna stain like crazy," Josh muttered, then began shooting. "Where the hell did you come from?!" one of the men shouted over the sounds of shooting and zombies screaming. "Aperture Labs!" Josh yelled back. "No kiddin'? That place was closed, last time we checked. Gas leak or somethin'," the man replied. "Yeah, you could say that," Josh muttered, rolling his eyes.

Finally, the whole group of headcrab zombies had been taken care of, and Josh leaned against a wall, resting. "Damn…that was a lot of zombies…" he gasped, recovering his breath. One of the two looked at him, and Josh noted that he was bruised and bleeding in a lot of places. "So, what are you doing so far from the labs? Didn't take scientists for the Rambo type. Well, there was that one orange guy I heard about," the man muttered thoughtfully. "I'm here to retrieve some data that might be in grave danger. Anyway, I gotta go, things to do, aliens to shoot, you know how it is," Josh said, leaving.

He met up with Trixie and Twilight inside the airport, where they quickly found an abandoned car, keys still inside. A dead woman was found slumped against the truck, and all three were somewhat disgusted. Josh kicked it off of the truck, and found the keys inside the jacket. "Gross, why would you do that?" Trixie mentioned. Josh rolled his eyes. "Easier than hotwiring it," he said, as they drove off towards Hasbro.

**A/N: Expect a lot of 'real' places throughout these ending chapters. You know, LA, Hasbro Studios, etc. And would Hasbro kindly not file a lawsuit about copyright infringement of their name? Aperture has had enough lawsuits as it is.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 – There and Back Again**

The three came to a large building that proclaimed "Hasbro, Inc." on its side. "Here we are, your birthplaces." Trixie raised a hoof. "I was born in Fillydelphia." Josh rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. So, prepared to save your entire universe?" Both nodded. They parked the car, then went inside. Josh tensed, expecting a zombie to shuffle out of the darkness any moment now. None came, however, and they quickly found the My Little Pony development section. "Why was that so easy?" Josh wondered. On the nearest desk, a brown box, same as Josh had been receiving since the start, was sitting covered in a pool of blood. "Gross. Lucky I don't have to touch this thing. Anyway, Open." The box did as it was told, and clicked open to reveal a single paper and a thumb drive. "I guess I'm collecting these now," Josh remarked as he held his two thumb drives in his left hand. He picked up the singular paper with his right, and read it. "Dear Josh, you have come amazingly far. To be honest, no one expected you to even make it to Equestria, let alone back again. I've taken those pills, and have been sane for a few hours, so I can write this message clearly." Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Pills?" Josh stopped reading. "Doug Rattman. He wrote this." Twilight nodded. "The final step is to get this drive out of this universe."

"It contains within it the codes to another universe that is an ideal candidate for hosting both of our universes, even if one is rather… unstable at the moment. They will have no idea about the drive, and it will alter their history, inconsequentially, to ensure that they invented both the ponies and us. Aren't you proud? We're going to be in a video game. Sincerely, Doug Rattman. P.S. I'm still alive, dammit. Relaxation Vault 0241. Get me to Equestria, I've been longing to have a chat with something other than a cube." Josh reread the last line, then nodded as it came to him. Rattman did always hold a special attraction to the Companion Cube, beyond its euphoric emittors. He probably bonded with one after GLaDOS's takeover. The two ponies, however, were still confused. Josh looked at them. "This makes our job much simpler than I thought, luckily. All we have to do is get this drive plugged in to the interdimensional portal that brought us here." Both of his friends nodded, glad to hear that no new surprises were in store.

The rest of the day was uneventful. They had driven back to the airport, and by the time they got there, it had been night already, and all three of them were stressed from hours of running over aliens and zombies. They had decided to spend the night in the airport, in a store that had long since been shuttered (though that didn't stop a shotgun). Josh was standing guard outside the store, and the other two were presumably asleep. Until Twilight nudged him in the leg. "You didn't have to, you know," she quietly said. Josh raised an eyebrow at her. "You didn't have to do this. You could have walked away and dismissed us as just a kid's show. Why not?" she spoke. Josh turned to her, still keeping watch for anything. "I didn't turn my back because then I would be no better than the parasites I've been killing all day," he replied with a dry laugh. "That, and… you ponies are far too cute for your own good." This earned a soft laugh from Twilight. "Anypony in particular?" she asked. Josh blushed. "Alright, maybe," he admitted. "Although generally, interspecies relationships aren't welcome in my world. Then again, that same world is dying, so maybe not." Twilight saddened at both pieces of information.

Early morning arose, and Trixie woke the others. They set off, started the plane, and flew low over the Californian ground. Josh spotted some people waving their hands and presumably shouting, so he looped around, causing questions from the two ponies. "Rescuing people. Stay down, don't let yourself be seen, all that. The reason why is that people would probably have a seizure from seeing something as out-of-place as you." Twilight laughed, she could recall Josh's first stunt in Equestria, with a similar-sounding reactions.

Josh landed the plane nearby, grabbed a shotgun and some ammo, and ran off. Trixie and Twilight chatted while he was gone. "So, did he say?" Trixie asked. "Nopony's name, but there is somepony special," Twilight said, winking. Trixie grinned. They would have to find out.

Josh arrived, shot stuff, and met up with the survivors. They chatted, and Josh agreed to escort them to a safe house farther north. However, as they were about to leave, a man clad in black with a white mask ran up, some sort of taser in hand. None of the others seemed to be willing to do anything, but Josh didn't take too kindly to people rushing him, so he sidestepped and tripped the man, who fell to the floor. He snatched the taser, having an idea. The man got up, and pulled out a nightstick. "Oh hell no," Josh said, hitting his helmet with the taser. The man fell to the floor, groaning. "Yeah, hurts, doesn't it? Those metal helmets of yours ain't so great when they conduct electricity, do they? DO THEY?" The others were stunned by his violence. "I hate cops," Josh said, sounding like a biker.

Josh had escorted the group to the safe house, and they had thanked him profusely. They were now flying back to Michigan, Josh of course piloting. "This is the most boring end of the world I've ever been through, and I've only been through one," he remarked. He feared to land, however, as they would probably be attacked as soon as they went to sleep. They were halfway back to Michigan, and it was 9 at night. The rescue had cost them some time, but nothing important. Trixie agreed with the boredom, but luckily some kid had left his Nintendo 3DS on the plane, and Josh gave them some quick instructions on how to use it. This occupied them for the rest of the plane flight, and when Josh touched down at around 11, they were still playing, Twilight having used a spell to give them fingers for a time. Josh smiled at their childishness and led them through the airport once again, found a resting place, and guarded over them as they slept (or played even still, he wasn't sure). He thought again about that one special pony, and whether she had any feelings for him. As time dragged on, Trixie eventually took over from him, having assigned herself to the middle guard. Josh smiled, walked into the room, and collapsed.

**A/N: We're getting close to the end!**

**…Love interest detected. Firing the Orbital Cupid Cannon.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 – The End**

Josh could feel how close they were to Aperture Science. Part of him yearned for the endless, sterile halls, the busy scientists working on anything that mattered, the entire futuristic feel of the place really. But that wasn't important. What was important was getting these ponies safely home, and their universe secured. He continued driving the car, past the endless rows of wheat fields.

Finally, he came to the small hole in the ground where they had used the escape pod. But how to get back down? Josh peered into the hole, which nanobots were already working on fixing. The pod itself had disintegrated, black powder all that remained. So, was there a portalable surface? Yes, the Central AI Chamber was mostly portal-accepting surfaces. He aimed carefully, and with some practice, was able to get a shot to land on the wall. Now, what about the other portal?

He looked around. The elevator nearby was made of wood, it wouldn't do. Wait, did he have anything in his backpack? He dug around, and pulled out a tub of Conversion Gel, the white liquid sloshing around. "Warning: This contains lunar sediments, which are poisonous if ingested," he read. He went over to the elevator nearby, and slopped some gel on. Finally, he had enough to form a portal, and the Central AI Chamber was visible through it. "Done!" he called, stepping through the portal. The two ponies quickly followed. Josh loved the feel of the underground, as the harsh sun had been getting to him.

The group made their way back to the portal chamber, but Josh noticed a Test Chamber wall had crumbled, revealing a Hard Light Bridge. Luckily, it stopped at a white wall, and Josh shot a portal at it for later. "Why do we need the bridge?" Trixie asked. "There's no floor in the room, remember? This'll serve as our floor, as long as it doesn't break," Josh answered. Trixie nodded, understanding. When they came to the room with the gateway, Josh shot an orange portal at the wall behind them, the light bridge appearing and extending out of it. They walked over to the circular door, and Josh placed the thumb drive in a USB slot, giving his second drive to Trixie. "Just in case," he smiled. A bird flew into the room, and studied them intently. "That crow looks so… weird," Trixie noticed. "Almost like it's evil or something." Josh shrugged. "It's a crow, it probably just wants food."

Josh pressed a few buttons on the portal, and it opened to reveal another Earth, seen from space. "And that's the new host planet for your TV show," he remarked. "They won't suspect a thing." He pressed a different button, and the Equestrian Enrichment Center was visible. "You two first," Josh said. Twilight and Trixie easily stepped in through the portal, and waved to him from the other side. Josh smiled. They were so close to being done! The bird, however, had different plans. It flew over and started pecking at one of the shiny buttons, causing the portal to malfunction. Twilight and Trixie could only see bits of Josh, the rest replaced with a black nothingness. "Wha- help- it" Josh tried to say, before the link shut off entirely. The other Earth was visible for a brief second, and Josh was sucked through the portal. His last thought was "And I never got to tell her…"

It was just three days later, and all the ponies who had known him were gathered for Josh's funeral. Derpy and Trixie were openly crying. The Mane Six simply bowed their heads. Celestia could not attend due to the concerns of war. Luna was already there, and was deeply saddened. No one was in the LaECOS suit, and it lay dead, as if mourning its former master as well. The USB drive that Josh gave to Trixie had been downloading something as soon as it was plugged in, and refused to be taken out, so they had left it be for the three days since Josh's disappearance and presumed death. But the thumb drive wasn't nearly done. Josh had pulled and modified some files from GLaDOS herself during their stay, and they were finished uploading. The intercom came on, startling everypony there. "Initiating Emergency Singing Protocols in 3, 2, 1…" the Announcer spoke. Ponies looked at eachother in confusion. Singing? The LaECOS suit swiveled toward them, causing some who were near it to jump back in fright. It regarded Trixie with a sad (could a dead hunk of metal be sad?) eye, and the thumb drive began its last instructions. LaECOS's screens displayed lyrics, and began singing in Josh's voice.

"This was a triumph,  
>I'm making a note here, Huge Success.<br>It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.  
>Aperture Science; we do what we must because we can,<br>For the good of all of us,  
>Except the ones who are dead.<p>

But there's no sense crying over every mistake  
>You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake.<br>And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun;  
>For the ponies who are Still Alive.<p>

I'm not even angry  
>I'm being so sincere right now.<br>Even though you broke my stuff, and killed me.  
>And tore me to pieces<br>And threw every piece into a fire.  
>As they burned, it hurt because,<br>I was so happy for you.

Now these points of data make a beautiful line,  
>And we're done with hating, we're celebrating on time,<br>So I'm Glad I got burned, think of all the things we learned,  
>For the ponies who are Still Alive.<p>

Go ahead and leave me,  
>I think I prefer to stay inside.<br>Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.

Maybe Black Mesa  
>That was a joke, ha ha, FAT CHANCE.<p>

Anyway, this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist,  
>Look at me still talking when there's science to do,<br>When I look out there, it makes me Glad I'm not you.  
>I've experiments to run, there is research to be done,<p>

With the ponies who are Still Alive.

And believe me, I am Still Alive.

I'm doing science and I'm Still Alive.

I feel fantastic and I'm Still Alive.

When you're canceled, I'll be Still Alive.

And when you're dead, I will be Still Alive.

Still Alive!

Still alive…"

The screen shut off, and the suit swiveled to look at everypony. "I'm so sorry it had to come to this. But I made this file just in case something went wrong. First off, Trixie, you're in charge of the facility from now onward. Second, if any princesses are here, I am quite sorry that I caused a war in your land. If I were here, I'd be doing my best to help you, but… this is only a file. One last thing…" it said, turning back to Trixie.

"Trixie…

I love you.

~Audio Recording Finished.~"

Trixie gasped in excitement. She had felt the same way almost since the two met. Then she drooped; the only being who had loved her was dead before she knew it. Twilight patted her on the shoulder. Normally Trixie would have objected, but she was too depressed to care at this point.

**A/N: SURPRISE ENDING!**

**I suppose some of you might hate me for being so depressing, but it fits my purposes.**

**Review, and… comment?**

**Further Notes: There is going to be a sequel.**


End file.
